The following memorandum is from the business manager of Happy Pancake House restaurant.
"Recently, butter has been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States. This change, however, has had little impact on our customers.In fact, only 2 percent of customers have complainted, indicating that an average of 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change.Furthermore, many servers have reported that a number of customers who ask for butter do not commplain when they are given margarine instead. Clearly, either these customers do not distinguish butter from margarine or they use the term 'butter' to refer to either butter or margarin"
The writer, who is the business manager, claims that most of the customers caonot distinguish the butter from margarine in the memorandum. The writer enumerate some numbers, which are the result from survey, such as only 2 persent of customers complain about the change, and a lot of customers have not said anything when servers give then margarine instead of butter. It seems reasonable at first glance, but this argument rife with hols and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to prove customers cannot find the difference of butter and margarine.
The percentage of customers, who have not complained about the change from butter to margarine, seems high enough to ignore the change from butter to margarine. In fact, however, we cannot assume that all of them are happy or not complained with the change. There might be a number of people who don't like to complain, although they feel umhappy or even anger about the change.
Another evidence, which based on the report from servers and claims that customers do not seem like anger when they ask for butter but are given margarine instead, is not powerful enough. First, the report from servers is not an accurate survey, and it can't give a right conclusion.Unless the survey is fully representative, valid, and reliable, it can not be used to effectively back the author's argument.Meanwhile, we shouldn't judge the attitude of customers only through their language. Some people will not say anything but just make up their mind of never come back when they consider the betray they faced. So, the report from servers about the little number of complained is not an strong evidence for this argument.
While now it may be clear that the conclusion in the memorandum, which claims that customers cannot distinguish the difference from butter to margarine, is questionable. Although it might be true that there is no or a littel diversity between butter and margarine, but this agrument cannot makes us believe that.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2012-07-26 | mapleleafdream | 70 | view |
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Sentence: The writer, who is the business manager, claims that most of the customers caonot distinguish the butter from margarine in the memorandum.
Error: caonot Suggestion: can not
Sentence: The writer enumerate some numbers, which are the result from survey, such as only 2 persent of customers complain about the change, and a lot of customers have not said anything when servers give then margarine instead of butter.
Error: persent Suggestion: percent
Sentence: There might be a number of people who don't like to complain, although they feel umhappy or even anger about the change.
Error: umhappy Suggestion: unhappy
Sentence: Although it might be true that there is no or a littel diversity between butter and margarine, but this agrument cannot makes us believe that.
Error: littel Suggestion: little
Error: agrument Suggestion: argument
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1605 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.82 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.466 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.7 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.409 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.632 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5