issue topicClaim: In order to help small businesses thrive, government should play a minimal role in private business matters.

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issue topic
Claim: In order to help small businesses thrive, government should play a minimal role in private business matters.

The author contends that government ought to take almost no role in private business affairs to help small businesses bloom. This is a contention with which I generally agree for following reasons.

To begin with, the more interference of government in private business matters, the less competition among small businesses. There are a lot of examples which I can use to illustrate this. For instance, in my country, the government indicates the price of some products in order to support the customer. It is an imprudent policy that may have undesirable consequences especially for small businesses. Take some small businesses which produce and sell the same product. The same price for each corporation means there will be no difference between the prices according to the differences between the quality of the product, reliability of the product, etc. However, if the government lets the market to determine the price, the small businesses will try to improve their efficiency or quality to reduce their price or attract more customers.

Some may claim that the customer-based policies which government adopts tend to protect low-income classes of the society; nevertheless, as I said in the last paragraph, a complete competition between businesses would lead to decline the prices; also the quality of the products could rise since corporations want to appeal more customers. Therefore, the market can regulate itself, and interference of government may hamper in this spontaneous process.

Additionally, to bring up another example, I can refer to the extent of administrative and official actions that government can bring in private business matters, and it would result in more bureaucracy. It is a great obstacle upon businesses to deal with a complicated official system and spend a lot of time to do a simple work. In fact, to do a lot of paper work may cause small businesses to lose their motivation, or to spend a lot of time in bureaucratic system might lead to great losses and harms. Furthermore, small businesses might acutely suffer from bureaucracy in another way; the official workers virtually lack enough concern and penchant to do their work correctly and effectively. It means that small businesses should spend more time on paper works, in turn, less time on their business.

Although some may hold the opinion that these official actions can guarantee the accuracy of the business works, experience tells us that huge amount of official works encourage corporations to find some illegal ways to ignore these procedures. The paper works if are not avoidable, they should be incisive, restricted, and attempt to precipitate business matters.

However, what I alluded to in the two paragraphs in the body should not be overgeneralized. That is, businesses which work in the fields of food, medicine, healthcare, etc. should be controlled strictly to follow the standard regulations since they have a strong impact on people’s safety. I would think the government could be the reference to judge corporations according to follow the regulations because there will be no benefit-expense matter for government to deliberately ignore the people’s goodwill.

To conclude, by taking into account all these factors we may come to reach the result that it is reasonable for the government to reduce its participation in business affairs in order to let them prosper. Even though it is necessary to involve government in businesses in food or health care, less interference of government might cause more completion and less bureaucracy which both help small businesses to thrive.

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flaws:
No. of Words: 576 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5

Better to have 5 paragraphs. Read this link for new GRE issue essay pattern:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 576 350
No. of Characters: 2960 1500
No. of Different Words: 262 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.899 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.139 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.947 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 210 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 170 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 90 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.583 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5