Schools should cut funding for extracurricular activities such as sports and the arts when school buildings are in need of repair.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and sup porting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
The author contends in a case that school buildings need to be repaired, schools ought to eliminate funding for extracurricular activities like sports and arts. This is a contention with which I generally disagree for following reasons.
To begin with, the expression of ‘’in need’’ that author used is so extreme. It could differ from case by case. For instance, the repair issue could be highly fundamental such as problem with heating system or destruction of the roof; otherwise it might be related to the something about the appearance of the building such as antiquated painting. Obvi...
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Sentence: Obviously, the first kind of repair is necessary to give attention to since it will interfere with the educational and academic mission of the school; however, the second kind is not convincing enough to cut the funding from after-school activities.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a conjunction, subordinating
Suggestion: Refer to to and since
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/gmatgre
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 488 350
No. of Characters: 2379 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.7 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.875 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.796 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.562 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5