In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town,we should encourage.Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area.The Hillview landfill which has been undevelopped for decades is a perfect site for this plant.the building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousand of Hillview residents left unemployed after computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year.i am asking the city council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer a significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing.-write an argument task.
The memo from the Mayor of the city of Hillview states that in order to alleviate the serious unemployment in the town, the town should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in the undeveloped landfill of the town. The Mayor further states that the plant will employ a large number of people who were recently left jobless because Computech computer abandoned its national facility last year. However the mayor's plan to support the project seems to be flawed and baseless.
The mayor is making assumption that the automobile manufacturing plant would usher in a number of new jobs, but however he has provided now hard facts as to how many people Autotech would employ. Also no assurance on the part of the company has been provided that they would employ people only from Hillview. They company could have had a manufacturing unit elsewhere, which they might have decided to shutdown and relocate to Hillview. So the previouly employed workers might just be transferred to the new plant in hillview, and the people of the town might not have an opportunity to apply for the new jobs.
Also the mayor here is making an audacious assumption that the automobile manufacturing plant would employ people from a computer software programming company. This assumption is uncalled for and cannot be accepted by any means. Computers and automobile manufacturing are two fields that have no major similarity between them. The employees of a computer firm would hardly be able to make a significant contribution to the working of a manufacturing plant. It is like asking a major airline company to hire a chef as a pilot. The two fields are far apart and there is no guarantee that autotech would employ people from the computer industry.
The Mayor has also asked for the town council to authorize tax incentives for the manufacturing unit. But, no information has been provided about the investment that Autotech is about to make. No hard facts have been provided as to how many years the plant would function, no such contract has been provided to ensure that autotech would be beneficial for the town. Providing tax incentives on no proper data can only be described as foolish.
Thus the city of hillview should not be encouraged to support the Autotech manufacturing unit, as no strong facts have been provided. A baseless assumption has been made which might prove harmful in the long run. The mayor should take back his statement and provide proper data if he is concerned about the well being of the town.
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Sentence: They company could have had a manufacturing unit elsewhere, which they might have decided to shutdown and relocate to Hillview.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to They and company
Sentence: So the previouly employed workers might just be transferred to the new plant in hillview, and the people of the town might not have an opportunity to apply for the new jobs.
Error: previouly Suggestion: previously
flaws:
Need one more argument for:
The Hillview landfill which has been undevelopped for decades is a perfect site for this plant.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 428 350
No. of Characters: 2072 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.548 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.841 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.687 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.703 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5