As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

The argument that people rely more and more on technology to solve problem cannot be over looked since people use different kinds of tools based on technology and using these tools help them to spend short time to tackle their problem. Moreover, they can do their work easier than when they wanted do it manually. The youth are influenced on technology and addicted and their parents think that their lives rely on the technology. While technology helps people being creative person and try to find reasonable ways to tackle difficult problems. Not only could technology reinforce the ability of humans to think creative but also it could contribute humans to improve their knowledge at different majors of science.

People spend most of their time with struggling with different kinds of tools that are based on new technology which forces them to learn technology literacy at an early age. For example, one of the main inventions of human beings is computer and mobile phone and many people even who live in under developing countries use them. Children have to learn computer literacy and work with computers and mobile phone to do their home work and find creative ways to solve their problems. Working with computers at an early age helps them to be a creative person and write computer programs to find a better solution for their mathematical problems. People invent the technology to make a world a better place to live so their thought and power of solving problems are higher than their technology. In other words technology gives service to people and assure them about feasible solutions that they find.

People like Bill Gates could make revolution at computer industry and increase the awareness of people from all over the world about using computers by writing different computer programs that are user friendly and attempt people to use computer as an advanced technology and save their time. In addition, other creative researchers could reap the benefit of this technology and solve some difficult mathematical problems that were very time consuming if they wanted to solve them manually. By using technology people could compute correct solutions at short time with lowest cost.

Advent of internet as one of the main technologies at information era contributes researchers to communicate with each other in all over the world and share their knowledge which would never happen if they did not have this technology. The most proportion of difficult problems in different majors like mathematics and medicine are solved in short time and increase the rate of treatments of dangerous diseases like heart attack and diabetics problems. Without technology, researchers and philosophers could not discover new aspects of different majors and could not find reasonable solutions to tackle the difficult problems. It is clear that technology makes contribution to reinforce the ability of people to think at a creative way at short time because they have to keep themselves up to date about new technologies that will be invented and consider new methods to develop recent technologies in different branches of science.

Although some people think that using wide variety of tools that are invented due to advent of technology like computers, lab tops and smart phones cause to increasing several problems, the advantages of technology outweigh the disadvantages and it is a very simplistic view that the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate because humans make an effort to enhance their recent technology every day.

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Sentence: The youth are influenced on technology and addicted and their parents think that their lives rely on the technology.
Description: The fragment The youth is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is

flaws:
No. of Words: 577 350
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.368 21.0

Well, you made some changes, but it is still not convincing us.

Put your reasons here:

1. People spend most of their time with struggling with different kinds of tools that are based on new technology which forces them to learn technology literacy at an early age.

2. People like Bill Gates could make revolution at computer industry and increase the awareness of people from all over the world about using computers by writing different computer programs that are user friendly and attempt people to use computer as an advanced technology and save their time.

3. Advent of internet as one of the main technologies at information era contributes researchers to communicate with each other in all over the world and share their knowledge which would never happen if they did not have this technology.

From those reasons, can you figure out that 'the ability of humans to think for themselves will not deteriorate?'

Reasons (or topic sentences) should be simple,clear and on the point, for example:

Eating at home can save money;

Eating at home can save time;

Eating at home can have family environment;

Read this essay as a good sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/people-rely-more-and-more-technol…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 577 350
No. of Characters: 2954 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.901 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.12 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.625 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 205 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 127 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 78 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.472 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5