Topic - Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Education is the key to the development. Education is the weapon which can change the world. It is the only thing which make us different. So while taking or giving education it is far more important to think, which kind of education we are giving to the students, our future generation. Today's education will create our tomorrow. And if we want it to be better then we should think on it. If educational institutes should encourage students to choose field of their interest and talent and tried to give them the best knowledge related to that.
If a student would choose a field of his own interest then he would do the things out of his own curiosity not because of complusion. This would be the thing which would make difference. If a student would take things because of his own interest then he would not feel burden of it and would give his best in that. But there might be the situation that his field would not give him as much money as he would be able to earn in any other field. for example if a student wants to become a bard then it would be hard him to earn as much money as an engineer or doctor would earn. But at last its his own wish to choose either of them. Because mental satisfaction is more than money. But it would not be the same for every person. However at the end of the day every person is searching for the satisfaction.
Also encouraging students for lucrative careers would ultimately create thinking and talking machines and not knowledgeable scholars. If student got support to choose a field of his own interest then he could do beyond anyone's expection in that. He would be able to do something innovative in that. But that would require the diligent efforts. He should not get thwart by others expectations or criticism. If person would have chosen a field according to lucrative career then it he would be able to fulfil his dreams or luxurious dreams in less time. But it is dependent on individuals thinking at last.
However if each student started to think about the money and fields related to that then in future hardly we would found any other Mark Zukerberg or Steve Job or Bill Gate. So educational system should encourage students to choose fields of their interest and talent than the fields having lucrative future.
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Sentence: It is the only thing which make us different.
Description: The fragment which make us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
Sentence: If person would have chosen a field according to lucrative career then it he would be able to fulfil his dreams or luxurious dreams in less time.
Description: An adverb is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to then and it
Sentence: However if each student started to think about the money and fields related to that then in future hardly we would found any other Mark Zukerberg or Steve Job or Bill Gate.
Description: The word found is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to found
Sentence: If a student would choose a field of his own interest then he would do the things out of his own curiosity not because of complusion.
Error: complusion Suggestion: compulsion
Sentence: If student got support to choose a field of his own interest then he could do beyond anyone's expection in that.
Error: expection Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: If person would have chosen a field according to lucrative career then it he would be able to fulfil his dreams or luxurious dreams in less time.
Error: fulfil Suggestion: fulfill
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 1831 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.488 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.444 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.121 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.469 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.213 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5