41. A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, howe

The argument illustrates an editorial appeared in a health newsletter suggested that the government should emphasize more on awareness about bicycle safety more than requiring them to wear helmet to reduce the number of bicycle accident. In order to support the suggestion a study of effectiveness of wearing a helmet and a number of accidents occurring is given.
looking at the facts presented the suggestion looks cogent but further analysis uncover few possibilities that can make the conclusion not worthy. So it would be perfunctory to deduce conclusion from the given facts.

first of all, the proportion of the helmet wearing people is shown increased as per the study. But the difference between two studies is 10 years. This gap of two years is totally neglected in the news letter. it could be possible that the number of vehicles is increased by a huge percentage and not only the bicycles but also the number other transportation vehicle are add ed at a huge portion. And the because of the traffic this number of accidents are increased. The type of accidents are also not considered in the study. What was the definition of accident in both the studies. It is possible that study done 10 years back has included only major accidents and the latest study is including each and every minor or major accidents. What was the time period of the study? It maybe possible that the first has number of accidents happened in a month and the second study containing the data of bicycle casualties of 2 months or three months and these numbers are compared. It is also possible that the season of the first study was summer and the latest study was done in rainy season. Clearly in rainy season number of accidents is increase because of the turning of road surfaces in a slippary surfaces.

Secondly, the news letter states a sentence that bicyclist just feel safer because of helmets but in actual they are not. But how this statement was deducted? Posibilities that those who came across the accidents were not wearing helmets. It is also possible that the reckless driving is the reason behind the accidents. In such cases wearing a helmet can not help you.
They have suggested that the awareness is important but what if everyone is aware about bicycle safety but not interested in following the rules.

In conclusion, before thinking that the awareness is more important than wearing a helmet, the types of studies and the statistical comparison of the study is important. An the kind of accidents and the reasons of accident should be considered as a facts and then after it should be decided what is important.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Looking
...umber of accidents occurring is given. looking at the facts presented the suggestion l...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...ce conclusion from the given facts. first of all, the proportion of the helmet we...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 211, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...s totally neglected in the news letter. it could be possible that the number of ve...
^^
Line 4, column 373, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'added'.
Suggestion: added
...number other transportation vehicle are add ed at a huge portion. And the because o...
^^^
Line 4, column 1038, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e that the season of the first study was summer and the latest study was done in ...
^^
Line 6, column 127, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...helmets but in actual they are not. But how this statement was deducted? Posibil...
^^
Line 6, column 266, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...earing helmets. It is also possible that the reckless driving is the reason behin...
^^
Line 9, column 73, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat the awareness is more important than wearing a helmet, the types of studies a...
^^
Line 9, column 172, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'A' instead of 'An' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: A
...l comparison of the study is important. An the kind of accidents and the reasons o...
^^
Line 9, column 172, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'An' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: An; The
...l comparison of the study is important. An the kind of accidents and the reasons of ac...
^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'in conclusion', 'kind of', 'first of all']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.251572327044 0.240241500013 105% => OK
Verbs: 0.16142557652 0.157235817809 103% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0796645702306 0.0880659088768 90% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0440251572327 0.0497285424764 89% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0230607966457 0.0444667217837 52% => OK
Prepositions: 0.14465408805 0.12292977631 118% => OK
Participles: 0.0587002096436 0.0406280797675 144% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.67233294821 2.79330140395 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0083857442348 0.030933414821 27% => Some infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.140461215933 0.0997080785238 141% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0146750524109 0.0249443105267 59% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0167714884696 0.0148568991511 113% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2636.0 2732.02544248 96% => OK
No of words: 449.0 452.878318584 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.87082405345 6.0361032391 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.58838876751 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.360801781737 0.366273622748 99% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.26280623608 0.280924506359 94% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.189309576837 0.200843997647 94% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.135857461024 0.132149295362 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67233294821 2.79330140395 96% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 219.290929204 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461024498886 0.48968727796 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 51.1595468929 55.4138127331 92% => OK
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6194690265 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.7083333333 23.380412469 80% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.0435620331 59.4972553346 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.833333333 141.124799967 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7083333333 23.380412469 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.541666666667 0.674092028746 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.94800884956 121% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.21349557522 192% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 44.9889569414 51.4728631049 87% => OK
Elegance: 1.99082568807 1.64882698954 121% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.321120876344 0.391690518653 82% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.135106965884 0.123202303941 110% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0953328284432 0.077325440228 123% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.605898275153 0.547984918172 111% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.174556572079 0.149214159877 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146656279211 0.161403998019 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0786939160223 0.0892212321368 88% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.312273624758 0.385218514788 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0950721189743 0.0692045440612 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192820130344 0.275328986314 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0902207876386 0.0653680567796 138% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.4325221239 77% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 5.30420353982 226% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88274336283 82% => OK
Positive topic words: 6.0 7.22455752212 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 3.66592920354 191% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.70907079646 111% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 13.5995575221 118% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.