The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

The topic raises a widely debated topic about cooperation versus competition in a leadership role. Indisputably, young talents should starting focusing in developing cooperation skill in order to become good leaders. Nevertheless, the sense of competition is extremely important in the actual contemporary society. Thus, I disagree with the fact that the best way to prepare young people for leadership is by instilling in them only a sense of cooperation.

First of all, cooperation and competition should walk together and not being treated as opponents. For instance, it is mandatory for someone who is running for a political vacancy to be highly competitive because the election process is in simple words a contest. You might achieve more votes than your opponents and just relying in cooperation you will never be elected. As a result, the pre-election period is a wild cage with candidates fighting to death using all the ways possible, ethically correct or not. In the end, the one which convinced the grater quantity of people will win. Moreover, other leader positions, such as in industry, could be very similar to the political process, thus candidates should be prepared to go through this phase.

Secondly, leadership positions are normally allied with power and money, in this way, there will be a huge amount of people trying to “steal” the position for themselves. When something involves people’s ego they are willing to do anything. The only way to defense yourself is to have a strong sense of competition and not bowing to criticism and defamation that surely will appear. It is far from the ideal world but unfortunately this is the way our always society worked. A good example are the Roman emperors, history showed to us that leaders had a very hard time to maintain their position because of the competition among families members. Consequently, inside a family that we might expect cooperation, instead it was a very competitive place.

As previously stated, cooperation is equally necessary for creating good leaders. Without cooperation from the people, no leader will obtain success in his/her career. As the definition of the word “leader” says, its main function is to lead people, and without cooperation this task is impossible. However, the argument above does not constitute a sufficient support to claim that it is the only aspect that a leader needs to develop.

In sum, although cooperation is highly important for a leader, the sense of competition should be equally explored. As long a young person achieve the perfect balance between these two disciplines he/she will probably become a very prestigious leader. In fact, this process of learning could be made organically, just inserting the pupils on the market or political world they automatically will start to increase their skill just watching other people behavior.

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Average: 7.5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 324, Rule ID: AGREE_WITH_THE_FACT[1]
Message: Use simply 'disagree that'.
Suggestion: disagree that
...he actual contemporary society. Thus, I disagree with the fact that the best way to prepare young people fo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 117, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...competition should be equally explored. As long a young person achieve the perfect...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, however, moreover, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, still, thus, for instance, in fact, such as, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 12.9106741573 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2435.0 2235.4752809 109% => OK
No of words: 463.0 442.535393258 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25917926566 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0178761056 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 215.323595506 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.55939524838 0.4932671777 113% => OK
syllable_count: 764.1 704.065955056 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.7963680028 60.3974514979 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 105.869565217 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1304347826 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5652173913 5.21951772744 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20553060928 0.243740707755 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0569732974656 0.0831039109588 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0790793282869 0.0758088955206 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112280981437 0.150359130593 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0649480200522 0.0667264976115 97% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 100.480337079 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.