The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

There is a famous saying that “ the failure is the mother of the success” this failure and success will not happen if one is not independent. The prompt says that cooperation is considerably essential more than the competition to be a good leader; however, I strongly disagree with this point of view. Undoubtedly, competition is important for a successful leader but also to be a significant competitor is regarded as crucial for such a sensitive position for two reasons.
First of all, cooperation as a single criterion for leadership is not fair enough to prepare one to be a leader takes his own decisions and responsible for its consequences if those decisions are wrong. For example, if CEO of a company wants to release a new product in a new market, in such situation although taking the others’ opinion is important; but, the final decision would be from him because if this product does not achieve the desired sells, in this case, there should be someone is responsible for that mistake. The above example illustrates that the leadership somehow needs to a brave one as well as independent to be able to lead a big team or even a big company.
Further, competition comes first then cooperation to prepare an excellent leader as most of the ivy league universities doing. For instance, when someone wants to study in such super universities, one of the most important requirements for applications is competition. If one wants to apply in, for example, Harvard University; he should compete to be able to survive among hundreds and hundreds of applicants. Therefore, the first front anyone could face it to be a rival to achieve the first step to be a leader. In such a university, firstly it interests in competition to obtain the elite people who one day will be being prepared to be a senior or leader. Such leaders will be in charge of a team to conduct a clinical trial or to operate a vast country like President Obama; he was one of the graduations of Harvard and prepared fair enough to be a president by the same method or technique form of competition. Cooperation is essential but comes in the second step after one became mature enough and acquired a strong personality that leadership needs.
In conclusion, although cooperation is important and should society take it into account, competition is more important than it to produce an independent leader brave and able to lead a huge company or even a large country.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 536, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ep to be a leader. In such a university, firstly it interests in competition to o...
^^
Line 3, column 601, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a one'.
Suggestion: who is a one
... competition to obtain the elite people who one day will be being prepared to be a seni...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, as well as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.5258426966 149% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 33.0505617978 61% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 58.6224719101 89% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2029.0 2235.4752809 91% => OK
No of words: 421.0 442.535393258 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81947743468 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96296559069 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 215.323595506 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482185273159 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 662.4 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.2370786517 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 23.0359550562 130% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.6815756698 60.3974514979 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.928571429 118.986275619 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0714285714 23.4991977007 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0714285714 5.21951772744 193% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.188110568343 0.243740707755 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0737474165475 0.0831039109588 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0582965889637 0.0758088955206 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119677298327 0.150359130593 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0340800971991 0.0667264976115 51% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.1392134831 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.8420337079 84% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.1743820225 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.27 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 100.480337079 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.2143820225 125% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.