The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or any other field is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry or any other field is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

In today's demanding world, the need for a strong and supreme command is an important factor which determines the extent of efficacy of the institution. The statement states that the best way for a society to prepare it's young people for leadership is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation and not competition. Being a staunch believer of pragmatic approach, I disagree with this for the following two reasons.
In this ever expanding world, there is an overabundance of people vying for the same position but having varying leadership qualities. The sense of competition not only drives you to do your best but also helps push yourself to the farthest extent. For instance, as history suggests, America has always had a plethora of great swimmers. But, very few of these swimmers get a chance to actually represent their nation at the international level. Michael Phelps was one of those swimmers who was lucky enough to have done that. He once said in an interview after winning a record six gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics - "Competition has what made me push myself everday, knowing I had to do better than the rest and come out a winner every single time I dived into that pool". It was a sense of confidence that motivated him to do better everday and not quit. This was an essential factor which helped him lead the American swimmers to victory in almost all the events in the 2008 Olympics. It instilled not only a sense of courage but also passion in all the younger generations looking up to them. This shows why it is imperative to have a sense of competition.
In fields like the government or industry, everything is not as easy as it seems. Here, sometimes, cooperating means digging your own grave. It may not be the right thing to do morally, but that is what is required if you want to come out on top at the end. For instance, Facebook had to fend off competition from various other platforms like Reddit and Orkut in order to make it to the top and come out as a winner. This did not happen due to a sense of cooperation, but due to a sense of competition. By cooperating, they would not have probably been where they are today. This shows the effect of prioritizing competition over cooperation in this cruel, gruesome world.
Although, some may argue that cooperating can develop and foster a sense of harmonious living. It may lead to a better standard and condition in this cut-throat world. But let's be pragmatic here and see what the actual world is out there : cruel, gruesome and cut-throat, with no place for people who readily cooperate on evverything and anything. It may not be possible to cooperate and achieve what can be achieved by instilling a sense of competition among the younger generation. A lot of emminent personalities have shown their faith in the ubiquitous phrase - "If you want it, go get it. Take what is yours and what you deserve, cause no one is going to serve it to you on a silver platter."

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2021-07-05 aayush1234 58 view
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...th this for the following two reasons. In this ever expanding world, there is a...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rative to have a sense of competition. In fields like the government or industr...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eration in this cruel, gruesome world. Although, some may argue that cooperatin...
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Line 4, column 183, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...condition in this cut-throat world. But lets be pragmatic here and see what the actu...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, look, may, so, still, for instance

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 33.0505617978 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2456.0 2235.4752809 110% => OK
No of words: 524.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68702290076 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7844588288 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80892347581 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 275.0 215.323595506 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524809160305 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 775.8 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.4787746625 60.3974514979 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.4615384615 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1538461538 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.26923076923 5.21951772744 43% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298582115324 0.243740707755 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.075631981492 0.0831039109588 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.121238288875 0.0758088955206 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.200332347412 0.150359130593 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.121357273797 0.0667264976115 182% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 12.1639044944 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.