I tend to disagree with the above mentioned statement. Though those who agree with the argument would suggest the negative impacts on society of pursuing individual’s dreams, the advantages of following individual’s dream outweigh the benefits of following worthy goals.
First, I agree with reason supporting the statement. Surely, many people’s dreams would be selfish since without selfish motivation, people would not willing to act. For instance, Those who want to run a business may have their own selfish goals such as earning money as possible as they can. Even for those who are volunteering for the poor, they often say that they would obtain happiness or a sense of satisfaction when they help others. Thus, while I agree with the reason, but I do not agree with the statement. I do not think so that the reason does support the argument well.
Of course, it would be desirable for all people to pursue socially worthy goals rather than selfish dreams. If all enteprenuers tried to keep social responsibilitieis such as protection of natural environment, it would be helpful to build a better society. But, due to the reason mentioned above, it would rarely happen. Nonetheless, it does not mean that more emphasis should be placed on following worthy goals. As Adam Smith puts it, invisible hands allows market to work appropriately. Even though people follow their own selfish goals, it would leads to postive impacts on society. For instance, those who research natural sciences would study just because they get satisfied whey they discover something new in the world not because of big obejctive to make a better society. BUt, their discoveries will leads to better society anyway. Furthermore, film directors would make a new film for their private purpose. BUt, moives they made sometimes calls attention for a social issue.
Last but not least, the term “worhty goals” is too vague. Who decides whether the goal is worthwhile or not? SOmetimes, even the goal that seems socially unworthy and extermely selfish could become worthwhile in the future. For example, the dream of being a musician was regarded as a unworhty goal in the past in Korea due to the social discrimination towards music entertainment. However, thesedays many pop-stars have became role models for many children and the music entertainment industry has been one of the biggest significant markets in the world. Nobody knows which goal is worthy or not. Therefore, there would be no collision between following own dreams and worhty goals.
To sum up, I still stands my initial position after considering the reason suggested. I disagree with the statement though I fully agree with reason trying to support that arugment since the reason does not guarantee the higher precedence of pursuing worthy goal than private dreams.
- To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. 50
- The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. 50
- The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your re 69
- Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 282, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the benefits of following worthy goals. First, I agree with reason supporting th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...son does support the argument well. Of course, it would be desirable for all...
^^
Line 5, column 553, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
...ollow their own selfish goals, it would leads to postive impacts on society. For inst...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 813, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
...er society. BUt, their discoveries will leads to better society anyway. Furthermore, ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...calls attention for a social issue. Last but not least, the term 'worht...
^^
Line 7, column 296, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...eam of being a musician was regarded as a unworhty goal in the past in Korea due ...
^
Line 7, column 434, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'become'.
Suggestion: become
... However, thesedays many pop-stars have became role models for many children and the m...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lowing own dreams and worhty goals. To sum up, I still stands my initial pos...
^^
Line 9, column 22, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'stand'
Suggestion: stand
... worhty goals. To sum up, I still stands my initial position after considering t...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
anyway, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, nonetheless, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, for instance, of course, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 58.6224719101 84% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2391.0 2235.4752809 107% => OK
No of words: 460.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19782608696 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81408404247 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 215.323595506 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528260869565 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 716.4 704.065955056 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.8501458076 60.3974514979 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.5555555556 118.986275619 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.037037037 23.4991977007 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.96296296296 5.21951772744 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242079988821 0.243740707755 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0657679614557 0.0831039109588 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0772128979148 0.0758088955206 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138144353466 0.150359130593 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0364379170109 0.0667264976115 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.1392134831 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.8420337079 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.58 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 100.480337079 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.