Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
"If you can dream it, you can do it" - A quote by Walt Disney, the creator of the world's best animation studio who once got fired by a newspaper editor because he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas." JK Rowling was rejected 13 times by different publishers before publishing her most famous novel "Harry Potter" series. Moreover, Colonel Sanders had his most renowned chicken recipe more than 1000 times rejected before he established his giant food chain - KFC. All the above examples and a lot more have become because these people dared to believe their dream more than what the educational institutions labeled them. The writer of the issue is of the view that the educational institution's responsibility is to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. Seeing the many benefits the guidelines and helps from professional educators could provide, I think the institutions should not dissuade the students for some reason.
First off, a proper education system provides sufficient resources and facilities for the students and helps them to find their path and learn to choose wisely, not to arrange for them. Thus, the students who are learning in a proper education system will learn to read different situations, get to know their options and their drawbacks, and anticipate the impacts and influences. For instance, vocational high school programs, which are also known as career and technical education programs, help the students to learn skills and find their interests and talents. Moreover, these programs can prepare a teen for a job directly out of high school. The above example illustrates that the educational systems which provide the plans will give the students an alternative and proper option to find their paths on their own.
A second downside of the prompt is the mental impact of mandatory advice, which educational systems give the students and may face feelings of dissatisfaction or different kinds of pressure and depression in their future lives. According to several studies on the impacts of mandatory choices, people who feel compelled to do something do not tend to be the most ambitious when doing it. For example, in my country, there are programs and psychological tests taken before the second year of high school in which the students and educators perceive the talents and foretell their future jobs based on the results. After the students take the tests, a committee talks to the students to persuade them to choose their major based on the results. Many students choose based on the committee's recommendation and study in their high school, lessons they do not enjoy, and they are not passionate. Based on many observations after the high school and before university, most of them feel anxious about their future, dramatically tired, and according to themselves, they feel a significant decline in their studying efficiency as time passes. The above example demonstrates the downside showing that the students do not feel passionate about paths that are chosen for them, which leads to a significant decrease in their ambitiousness, efficiency, and focus.
In sum, of course, some argue that in this era and our society, teens need the help of their educators and institutions to find their future path. Thus the institutions must choose their future for them. However, a piece of compulsory advice may not be the precise solution to this problem; since the institutions could help them by providing guidelines and different programs such as vocational programs in high school.
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2020-01-29 | jenniferjack07 | 66 | view |
2020-01-28 | Kiho Park | 50 | view |
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- Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, or clean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. 60
- Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. 73
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they were nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 73
- Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. 76
- A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? 100
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 93, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'worlds the best'.
Suggestion: worlds the best
...uote by Walt Disney, the creator of the worlds best animation studio who once got fired by ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 367, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pos;Harry Potter' series. Moreover, Colonel Sanders had his most renowned ch...
^^
Line 1, column 720, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'institutions'' or 'institution's'?
Suggestion: institutions'; institution's
...sue is of the view that the educational institutions responsibility is to dissuade students ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 778, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'committees'' or 'committee's'?
Suggestion: committees'; committee's
...ults. Many students choose based on the committees recommendation and study in their high ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 148, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...institutions to find their future path. Thus the institutions must choose their futu...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, thus, for example, for instance, i think, of course, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 14.8657303371 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 33.0505617978 157% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3027.0 2235.4752809 135% => OK
No of words: 581.0 442.535393258 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2099827883 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90957651803 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81164045205 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 282.0 215.323595506 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485370051635 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 923.4 704.065955056 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 23.0359550562 126% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.9310265792 60.3974514979 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.35 118.986275619 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.05 23.4991977007 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.65 5.21951772744 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267910172858 0.243740707755 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101976603823 0.0831039109588 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.160467085873 0.0758088955206 212% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151196270099 0.150359130593 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0840542045074 0.0667264976115 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.6 14.1392134831 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.8420337079 86% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.53 12.1639044944 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.38706741573 105% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 100.480337079 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.2143820225 121% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.