Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take In developing and support | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

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Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military.

__________

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Art is one of the most visceral forms visceral forms of expressing human emotion. Even for people who do not consider themselves gourmands of the art world, art has still, in one way or the other, enriched their lives. Take listening to music that can paint a vivid picture just by words and melodies, or engender a sense of intense (and sometimes much needed) catharsis. Music is unequivocally a form of art, and a person would find themselves hardpressed to say that music has not once affected them in their lives. Considering the importance of art in human existence, at the surface, it does seem like a valid proposition that governments should spend as much money in the arts as they do in the military. Afterall, what is a military, if not an expensive juggernaut purpose made for death and destruction? However, in the rest of this essay, I will argue that the people are much better off if the government prioritises funding the military over funding arts.

Firstly, the key difference between when it comes to funding the military versus funding the world of art is that it is a terrible idea to let affluent, private individuals raise militaries comprised of mercenaries - history has proven this time and time again, going all the way from the Romans privatizing tax collection to the hands of a few goons with small paid militias, all the way to the British East India Company lending its armies as mercenary forces to the regional kings in India, adding fuel to an already incindiary situation. Wealthy individuals lending their patronage to the world of art on the other hand has almost been the norm. From comissioning the painting of the roof of the Sistine chapel, to the Medici family helping the Rennaisance movement in Florence with their significant means. Certainly, the art world is also sometimes funded by the government, sometimes to create statues of eminent individuals, or to commision other works of art in general. However, the salient point is that while the world of art can, and has benefited from wealthy private individuals, throughout history, individuals funding armies with little to no oversight, accountability or regulation has proven time and time again to be a detriment to the balance of the society as a whole. Therefore, as art has tenable avenues for private investment whereas the military does not, the people of a country are better off if the government decides to apportion a greater amount of funds to maintaining militaries than to stimulate art.

It is clear that funding from the military should only come through the government. One might still ask the question: why is so much funding needed in the first place? Why not simply cut back military funding and invest it in art, or other worthy avenues for that mattter? Militaries around the world are one of the most expensive, if not the most expensive propositions for most countries around the world. The world today is an increasingly peaceful place. It might not seem so when reading the news, but there are unimpeachable statistics behind this claim - fewer conflicts, shorter conflicts, and conflict with less casualties, these are all the hallmarks of the relatively peaceful era we live in today. However, part of what maintains this era of peace is the concept of mutually assured destruction. Militaries belonging to the biggest superpowers and alliances today have enough clout to annihilate entire countries. However, if they choose to do so, they have to be prepared for the consequences from other countries, which will be just as devastating. Hence, in this endless standoff and grandstanding, the first country to take a step back is the first country to put its people in a more vulnerable situation. So, while military spending is high even in this current time of relative peace, it is still essential to maintain that peace. Hence, governments are better of not diverting the existing military budgets significantly to other avenues such as art either.

I will concede that governments should invest in commisioning art installation in cities and towns that enriches the lives of its denizens, and to preserve art tied to cultures that are at the risk of going extinct. Both of these are enriching or preserving the very essence of human existence across generations, and despite being such worthy causes, often do not gather many private benefactors. For all other avenues of art however, perhaps it is best left to the private sphere to garner funding, which also does not have scarcity of funds by any means. Militaries however, should and must only be maintained by the governments. For these reasons, it is clear that societies will be better off if the current status quo is maintained: private benefactors mostly invest in the arts, and governments solely invest in militaries.

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Essays by user aayushm10001 :

Governments should invest as much in the arts as they do in the military Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take In developing and support 66

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 24, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'visceral forms'.
Suggestion: visceral forms
Art is one of the most visceral forms visceral forms of expressing human emotion. Even for p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 709, Rule ID: AFTERALL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'after all'?
Suggestion: After all
...in the arts as they do in the military. Afterall, what is a military, if not an expensiv...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 101, Rule ID: ASK_THE_QUESTION[1]
Message: Use simply 'ask' instead.
Suggestion: ask
...through the government. One might still ask the question: why is so much funding needed in the f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 617, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun casualties is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...s, shorter conflicts, and conflict with less casualties, these are all the hallmarks...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, so, still, therefore, whereas, while, in general, such as, in the first place, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.5258426966 164% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 14.8657303371 155% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 33.0505617978 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 111.0 58.6224719101 189% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 12.9106741573 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4015.0 2235.4752809 180% => OK
No of words: 804.0 442.535393258 182% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99378109453 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.32493133829 4.55969084622 117% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8205413515 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 373.0 215.323595506 173% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463930348259 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1255.5 704.065955056 178% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.77640449438 563% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.2370786517 148% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 90.5616364693 60.3974514979 150% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.833333333 118.986275619 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.8 23.4991977007 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76666666667 5.21951772744 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175299207229 0.243740707755 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0497903319349 0.0831039109588 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0371379799521 0.0758088955206 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119138891109 0.150359130593 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0191671227218 0.0667264976115 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 14.1392134831 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 191.0 100.480337079 190% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, so, still, therefore, whereas, while, in general, such as, in the first place, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this: