The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
With increasing materials and better life in modern society, more and more people have begun to enter a luxurious and convenient life mode. Therefore, this is a prediction that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life would inevitably prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. From my perspective of view, it is undeniably true that sumptuous and convenient life might lead people into degeneration. However, this doesn't mean that such external conditions necessitate such result. Moreover, it is also worth to point out whether people could become depraved under such circumstances actually hinges on many other factors.
Before elaborating my viewpoint, it is necessary to clarify the definition of strong and independent individuals. In my humble view, strong ego means that people possess stamina to make progress even under extremely difficult circumstance, while independence represents that their insights or ideas aren't easily swayed by others. All of those two factors conform the irreplaceable elements for our success. With such simply clarification, we can continue with our discuss for relationship between luxuries and conveniences of current life with strong and independent ego.
To start off, if people are given more luxuries and conveniences environment, they might more likely degrade and deviate from being strong and independent ego. On one hand, slugginess is the nature of people so that people are more likely to be indulgent with status quo when given with luxurious life situation. Additionally, because of conveniences of surrounding environment, they are also easily to adapt with others' choice in order to achieve their goal by so-called short-cut in either life or work. For instance, compared with 10 years ago, nowadays majority of students who prepare for GRE couldn't tend to recite so many vocabulary before their exam. Instead, they are more inclined to just recite some "highly frequent and necessary" words, which just guarantee them to hack a relatively good score.
However, tenable as such claim holds in the aforementioned case, I have to contend that such external conditions doesn't necessarily determine what qualities individuals would possess. That is to say, such better circumstances are likely to cultivate more strong and autonomous individuals. With regard to the first part, luxurious life does not always serve as the impediment for our shaping strong personal quality. It is because of such better material situation that people could be deprived from anxiety to solve with their issues in life and focuses on what they are devoted on. Moreover, convenience can't all the time make people avoid from strengthening their capacity confronted with challenges. Sometimes convenient situation to eschew with unfavorable circumstance could help people leverage better resources and figure out the emphatic parts.
Last but not least, given the complexity of surrounding for each person, it is necessary to emphasize that whether becoming truly strong and independent ego are subject to many factors beside such external situations. As people aren't living alone in society, many environmental factors for their life could contribute to their form of strong and independent ego. While external conditions, such as educations, family, help shape people's habits, other internal elements, such as personal life experience, love for their work or hobby, could also heavily impact their personality. However, contemporary life which only comprise one factors of those surely couldn't determine people's ultimate quality in term of whether they are strong or autonomous enough. For instance, despite the fact that Kobe Bryant grew from better family which make him free from worries about life, he also deliver on tremendous effort on his unique and life-long hobby: basketball, than majority of those effort spent by other sportsmen. This is a simple but persuasive case that the claim doesn't hold.
In summary, it is true that sumptuous and convenient life could make people lose motivation for their original endeavor and therefore decline the likelihood for them to become strong and independent ego. However, as discussed before, it is evident that people might make use of such advantageous conditions to accelerate their better characteristics. Furthermore, considering various factors in regards to people' forming stamina and desire for success, many other external and internal factors are involved in this process, which make the claim of the author seems too oversimplified.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 461, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...people into degeneration. However, this doesnt mean that such external conditions nece...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...represents that their insights or ideas arent easily swayed by others. All of those t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 599, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ajority of students who prepare for GRE couldnt tend to recite so many vocabulary befor...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 625, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun vocabulary seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much vocabulary', 'a good deal of vocabulary'.
Suggestion: much vocabulary; a good deal of vocabulary
...epare for GRE couldnt tend to recite so many vocabulary before their exam. Instead, they are mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 114, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...o contend that such external conditions doesnt necessarily determine what qualities in...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 607, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...y are devoted on. Moreover, convenience cant all the time make people avoid from str...
^^^^
Line 9, column 229, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...ide such external situations. As people arent living alone in society, many environme...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 655, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ly comprise one factors of those surely couldnt determine peoples ultimate quality in t...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 880, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'delivers'.
Suggestion: delivers
...m free from worries about life, he also deliver on tremendous effort on his unique and ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 973, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this effort' or 'those efforts'?
Suggestion: this effort; those efforts
...ong hobby: basketball, than majority of those effort spent by other sportsmen. This is a sim...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1064, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...mple but persuasive case that the claim doesnt hold. In summary, it is true that su...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 393, Rule ID: IN_REGARD_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'regarding' or 'with regard to'.
Suggestion: regarding; with regard to
...urthermore, considering various factors in regards to people forming stamina and desire for s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, while, for instance, in summary, such as, it is true, with regard to, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 14.8657303371 202% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 33.0505617978 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 94.0 58.6224719101 160% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3894.0 2235.4752809 174% => OK
No of words: 700.0 442.535393258 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.56285714286 5.05705443957 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.14368672361 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92188225608 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 337.0 215.323595506 157% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481428571429 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 1230.3 704.065955056 175% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 6.24550561798 272% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.38483146067 274% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.0126643374 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.275862069 118.986275619 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1379310345 23.4991977007 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.8275862069 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 7.80617977528 154% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 26.0 10.2758426966 253% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257204582193 0.243740707755 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0802969495725 0.0831039109588 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688390521201 0.0758088955206 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157103380867 0.150359130593 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0431279599291 0.0667264976115 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.1392134831 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.2 48.8420337079 62% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.1743820225 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.26 12.1639044944 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 186.0 100.480337079 185% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 461, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...people into degeneration. However, this doesnt mean that such external conditions nece...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...represents that their insights or ideas arent easily swayed by others. All of those t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 599, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ajority of students who prepare for GRE couldnt tend to recite so many vocabulary befor...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 625, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun vocabulary seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much vocabulary', 'a good deal of vocabulary'.
Suggestion: much vocabulary; a good deal of vocabulary
...epare for GRE couldnt tend to recite so many vocabulary before their exam. Instead, they are mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 114, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...o contend that such external conditions doesnt necessarily determine what qualities in...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 607, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...y are devoted on. Moreover, convenience cant all the time make people avoid from str...
^^^^
Line 9, column 229, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...ide such external situations. As people arent living alone in society, many environme...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 655, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ly comprise one factors of those surely couldnt determine peoples ultimate quality in t...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 880, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'delivers'.
Suggestion: delivers
...m free from worries about life, he also deliver on tremendous effort on his unique and ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 973, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this effort' or 'those efforts'?
Suggestion: this effort; those efforts
...ong hobby: basketball, than majority of those effort spent by other sportsmen. This is a sim...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1064, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...mple but persuasive case that the claim doesnt hold. In summary, it is true that su...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 393, Rule ID: IN_REGARD_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'regarding' or 'with regard to'.
Suggestion: regarding; with regard to
...urthermore, considering various factors in regards to people forming stamina and desire for s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, while, for instance, in summary, such as, it is true, with regard to, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 14.8657303371 202% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 33.0505617978 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 94.0 58.6224719101 160% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3894.0 2235.4752809 174% => OK
No of words: 700.0 442.535393258 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.56285714286 5.05705443957 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.14368672361 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92188225608 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 337.0 215.323595506 157% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481428571429 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 1230.3 704.065955056 175% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 6.24550561798 272% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.38483146067 274% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.0126643374 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.275862069 118.986275619 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1379310345 23.4991977007 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.8275862069 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 7.80617977528 154% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 26.0 10.2758426966 253% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257204582193 0.243740707755 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0802969495725 0.0831039109588 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688390521201 0.0758088955206 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157103380867 0.150359130593 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0431279599291 0.0667264976115 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.1392134831 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.2 48.8420337079 62% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.1743820225 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.26 12.1639044944 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 186.0 100.480337079 185% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.