"The most ideal path for a society to set up its youngsters for positions of authority in government, industry, or different fields is by imparting in them a feeling of collaboration, not rivalry. "
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The argument given touches on a widely debated topic that has cast a profound shadow on the history of mankind. History has been witness to how rivalry gave way to competition, how competition gave way to wars, and how wars resulted in ill-will and bloodshed. Yet it has been the competitiveness of humans of that has fuelled progress of mankind and advances in technology. It is competition and friendly rivalry that brings out the best in a person. But it is important to harbour rivalry without ill-will, to not make the rival an enemy, to collaborate yet compete.
Success of a group of individuals is a dish that needs collaboration and rivalry both to make it palatable. If the balance goes off, we see failure and ill will. Let me illustrate. Consider two students preparing for a competitive exam granting admissions to prestigious schools. The exam is tough, the preparation a hard going. Doing it alone would require a mountain of will and bagful of perseverance. However, if they decide to study together, to discuss, to collaborate, they would feel less alone and more motivated. They would seek validation of their efforts by trying to beat their teammate, and in turn redouble their efforts, thus boosting the chances of success. Thus, collaboration and rivalry are inherently two sides of the same coin.
The reason democracy has been such a success worldwide is that now prospective rulers engage in a rivalry of policies, propaganda and wooing the masses. Politicians know that to beat their rival, they need to really see things from the people's viewpoint. Of course, it has not been so simple, but yes, fundamentally that is what democracy is about. Individuals of different ideologies clash, while in the end still collaborating to govern the country. This is a gross simplification, and democracy has its share of problems. But democracy is the perfect example of collaboration twining with rivalry.
In conclusion, I would like to point that the argument given only takes in one aspect of the issue in consideration, while missing the bigger picture. Rivalry if kept in its limits enhances collaboration and eventual success. Rivalry left unchecked leads to breakdown of collaboration and leads to a disaster. It is a thin ice, that needs to be negotiated prudently.
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2023-10-22 | nishantsinamdar | 66 | view |
2023-09-03 | weonalaz | 66 | view |
2023-08-21 | CHAITRALI PHATAK | 16 | view |
2023-08-21 | Kshitij Kasabekar | 66 | view |
2023-08-21 | CHAITRALI PHATAK | 16 | view |
- Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate 60
- Clay pots of a particular specific design have earlier been found in the surrounding area of the prehistoric village of Karia and so were supposed to have been made exclusively by the people from Karia However of late archeologists discovered a Karian cla 59
- The most ideal path for a society to set up its youngsters for positions of authority in government industry or different fields is by imparting in them a feeling of collaboration not rivalry Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you a 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an enemy, to collaborate yet compete. Success of a group of individuals is a d...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nherently two sides of the same coin. The reason democracy has been such a suc...
^^^
Line 5, column 237, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...they need to really see things from the peoples viewpoint. Of course, it has not been s...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f collaboration twining with rivalry. In conclusion, I would like to point tha...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, really, so, still, thus, while, in conclusion, of course
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1920.0 2235.4752809 86% => OK
No of words: 380.0 442.535393258 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05263157895 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0374440706 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552631578947 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 598.5 704.065955056 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.1482674036 60.3974514979 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 80.0 118.986275619 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.8333333333 23.4991977007 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.08333333333 5.21951772744 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 5.13820224719 175% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.102694227532 0.243740707755 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0276342028794 0.0831039109588 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0309310625969 0.0758088955206 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0591081418849 0.150359130593 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0130341533265 0.0667264976115 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.1392134831 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.8420337079 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 12.1639044944 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 100.480337079 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.