Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position

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Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position

Some people are of the opinion that it is a good idea to use wilderness areas to build magnificent, commercial centers to earn a huge amount of money. However, others such as me oppose it, while asserting that these areas have to be preserved in their natural structure. Both of these groups have several reasons to advocate their opinion which are argued as follows.

From the first angle, it may seem a sound idea to construct several complexes and illustrious buildings in these areas. Because, such buildings not only can absorb a lot of tourists to that area, but also a huge amount of money can be earned. This group asserts that a community can introduce more its culture, language to the world through attracting more tourists. Moreover, through earning more money they can develop the area while providing people with more job opportunities, accommodations and recreation facilities. They believe these areas as blessings of god which have to be used efficiently.

However, after carefully weighing in the mind, it can be seen that using such areas may result in some bad events in the long run, the first one of which is the extinction of some species of animals or plants living in that place. As it is known to all, in every district, there are animals feeding from some other animals or plants. This natural circle will be ruined, if the spot be used as financial aims, which has become one of the hot topics nowadays. Moreover, these areas are very useful to have a fresh air and clean environment. However, building complexes or factories will pollute both the air and environment and they destroy people’s tranquility and comfort through noises and their pollution.

Passing laws seems to be a good idea to warn people about the future and dire consequences of their deeds. It can clarify people about what is going on and how they can help to keep well their earth for the next generations. Although it would be effective,if it applies thoroughly and meticulously through conscientious and considerate agents on time, I think this not the only beneficial strategy. Authorities can also get help from media and schools to reprove people about this issue.

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such buildings not only can absorb a lot of tourists to that area, but also a huge amount of money can be earned.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

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better to have 5 paragraphs. Try this pattern:

paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.

paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...

paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.

paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.

paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 370 350
No. of Characters: 1762 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.386 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.762 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.554 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.765 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.813 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5