People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
The passage says that human behaviors are defined by external factors, not by one’s own decision. It is true that everyone has a right to decide what is the best for oneself and sometimes it may be the most significant factor, but there are laws and rules that define the legal boundaries of people’s actions and many external elements that affect how to behave.
Admittedly, a person has a privilege to make his or her own decisions when it’s necessary and the personal inclination or set of values may have the most significant influence on the decision-making process. For example, the law prohibits driving under the influence of any circumstances. However, there are many people disregard the law and drink and drive. Everyone is aware of the consequences of driving under the influence if the one gets caught; yet, people ultimately make the decision of doing it.
Although people still flout the law when they behave, the law is still the most forceful guideline for people to determine the ones’ behavior. Even though you are capable of doing something, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are allowed to do it and the law would be the great tool to see whether an action is legitimate or not. The law is being enforced by police and anyone who violates will be punished by the law. The law is the most compelling reason for a person not to attempt to steal something doesn’t belong to him or her. For example, the bank didn’t care enough to give out a mortgage loan to someone who didn’t have enough income; however, after the crisis in 2009, new regulation of the screening procedure about the loan applicants was set up and the bank may get punished if the bank failed to comply.
Since humans are social animals live in the community with others, social and environmental factors exist around people that influence on people’s behavior. Consciously and unconsciously people around one human being are significantly influential on his or her daily life. During childhood, you are likely doing what your friends do and it’s called peer pressure. When you decide a major for the college or a job, you may consult with your parents or teachers among other people. Moreover, people are often affected by media, such as TV. For example, according to the recent study, TV commercial for the is the most convincing election advertisement method to explain the candidate’s pledges and ask to vote for the candidate. The reason why millions of dollars are being spent on TV commercials during the election season is that people are easily influenced by those.
To sum up, I do agree with the author’s statement that the external factors have more influence than the internal one when he or she determines how to behave. It is true that one’s behavior is defined by an individual decision; there is no doubt about that. However, it is also true that no one is free from the influences of other people or circumstances and they are more powerful when a person decides one’s behavior.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 375, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nal elements that affect how to behave. Admittedly, a person has a privilege to ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 892, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... people are easily influenced by those. To sum up, I do agree with the author&ap...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 439, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n a person decides one's behavior.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, for example, no doubt, such as, it is true, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.5258426966 169% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 14.8657303371 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.3162921348 168% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 33.0505617978 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2557.0 2235.4752809 114% => OK
No of words: 514.0 442.535393258 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97470817121 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86027751306 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496108949416 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 809.1 704.065955056 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.7582847108 60.3974514979 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.761904762 118.986275619 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4761904762 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.90476190476 5.21951772744 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.122325001894 0.243740707755 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0451081271747 0.0831039109588 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0512106358218 0.0758088955206 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0754011902579 0.150359130593 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0102711753961 0.0667264976115 15% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 100.480337079 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.