Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be

As far back as I can remember, I have had a belief that I should always have a cause to live for in my life. I have realized that my cause in this life is to help people, be it the people in my community or those around the globe. And with no doubts, being immersed in the field of Pharmacy for 6 years now has made this cause achievable. I still can't forget the faces of the underserved people I met during my participation in the activities of the PharmD Campaign. In fact, I am aware of the burdens my country is shouldering due to the situation in the surrounding region. The consequent growth in population due to the refugee crisis brings with it an inevitable increase on the demands for healthcare services. Therefore, I am applying to your PhD program in Clinical Pharmaceutical Sciences with the hope that it will help me to continue working towards my cause in life. I am aspiring to improve the effective, safe and economical use of medications by patients through clinical research.
I often describe myself as a passionate learner and a self-driven, optimistic individual. I have a constant desire to learn. Since I was in school, I was very eager for knowledge, exploring, and achieving. I was always focused on my studies and came on the top of my class for 10 years. Since an early age, I have developed a deep love for the human body and sciences which eventually inspired me to choose Pharmacy as a major in university. Fortunately, I was raised by two parents who strongly believe that education is the most powerful weapon I can use to change myself and the world. And this has been my motive to always seek knowledge and opportunities.
In addition to being a dedicated student, I was also very active in extracurricular activities during my school and university years. I was an active member of the "Radio Club", "Science Club," and "Drama and Music Club" in my school. And I won three essay-writing competitions that were held across Jordan in English, Arabic, and French. Moreover, at age 14, I won a scholarship from the British Council and HSBC bank in Jordan to enroll in a summer course at Kings School of English in Bournemouth, UK. Furthermore, at age 21 I was selected to be part in a 5-week Study of the U.S. Institute (SUSI) sponsored by the Cultural and Educational Affairs of the U.S. Department of State. Through the 5-week exchange program, I gained deep knowledge on Women's Leadership and Entrepreneurship. My participation in that program helped me to realize my potential as a woman to lead and serve other women in my community. And as a product of this program, I was able to start an enterprise called "SheCab" with three other participants. The company mission was to empower girls and women in our community. We aimed to provide a safe public transportation, along with creating new job opportunities for women, by providing female taxi drivers targeting female passengers. Fortunately, the company was selected from a pool of 800 projects to win the AEIF (Alumni Engagement Innovation Fund) of $20,000 from the U.S. Department of State in 2015. I worked as the Research Strategist for the company and this experience has taught me how to write proposals and enforced my leadership, research and teamwork skills.
I have cultivated my writing skills through working as a writer at "JustForJust," an online newspaper at my university. One of the scientific articles I wrote for the newspaper was about the Zika Virus. I also volunteer at The Jordanian Association for Human Development in my home city of Jerash. It is an NGO that strives to create projects to better the situations of the underserved refugees and local people in the surrounding community.
These extracurricular activities have reinforced in me the value of dedication, hard work, and responsibility towards my community. With no doubts, these experiences have helped to shape me as the person who I am today. Because to be a successful clinical pharmacist it will require empathy and patience. Also, you need to be a good communicator and a leader who can make patient-related decisions confidently.
During my 6-year PharmD program at Jordan University of Science and Technology, I was exposed to all the disciplines of Pharmacy; including Pharmaceutics, Medicinal Chemistry, and Clinical Practice. And while training at several hospital departments in my last year of college, I gained knowledge and experience in clinical pharmacy and confidence that devoting myself to helping people was the right decision I made. It was particularly intriguing for me to observe the responses of patients to medical therapy or try to tailor the therapeutic regimen to the patient's specific characteristics.

One of my moments of pride came during my clinical training, when the status of a newly diagnosed AML patient had dramatically deteriorated due to an infection. I contributed to changing her medical regimen with the infectious diseases specialist at the hospital. I was extremely satisfied when I saw her vivacious face after a couple of days of that change. Another occasion was when I reported to my preceptor a case of a female with End Stage Renal Disease that was prescribed Metformin for her abnormal HbA1C. We were able to change the order for the patient after discussing the case with the physician before the patient had to leave the hospital.
In addition, I still remember an asthmatic patient who frequented the hospital due to asthma exacerbation. She was pleased after I educated her on the proper use of her inhalers.
In fact, even such simple acts like patient education, have made me more confident in my role as a clinical pharmacist who strives to optimize patient's care.
Though I received a cumulative GPA of 3.42 (Very Good) and my name appeared on the Honor's list during my fifth year at university, I was at my best academically during the clinical training year and as result I was able to get a GPA of 3.62 out of 4.2 (Excellent) in that year. Moreover, I always received positive feedback from my preceptors on my performance. They considered me reliable and they praised my communication and presentation skills. Therefore, I was chosen by my preceptors to give two lectures for the other healthcare providers at the hospitals where I trained. One on "Safe Drugs in Pregnancy" and the other on "Psychotropic Medications" in the Internal Medicine and Neuropsychiatry rotation, respectively.

One of the courses I enjoyed most in university was "Drug Literature Evaluation". This course taught me the methods of analyzing and evaluating published scientific articles and reports related to drugs and clinical cases. The course included two Journal Club activities during the semester. In addition, I took the elective rotation "Drug Information" that also included a part for Journal Club. All this had provided me with the skills needed to critique research articles and contributed to enhancing my written and verbal communication.
I volunteered for a year at the "PharmD; Towards Optimal Pharmaceutical Care" Campaign that was established by PharmD students at Jordan University of Science and Technology in 2011 with the goal of providing pharmaceutical care for the local community. I participated in organizing two free medical days that were held in two different cities in Jordan. During which I provided education and counseling to the community members on many diseases that face Jordanians. Furthermore, as part of the campaign I gave a lecture on "Sunscreens" for female students at Irbid College for Girls.
Regarding teamwork skills, I am collaborative, curious, and I always bring creative ideas to the table. I am well-organized, and I am a good listener and I always try to understand other people's points of view. Also, I managed to build healthy relationships with my professors, preceptors, and colleagues during university.

Indeed, Pharmacy is a perpetually growing field of science. It has vast range of disciplines and allow you to specialize in any area of your interest and thus I believe that investing in drug research is always promising. I have developed a deep love for antimicrobials since the first lecture of the course "Infectious Diseases". I truly find this area puzzling and challenging especially the issue of antibiotics resistance. Moreover, I am interested in immunology, vaccination and respiratory diseases. And therefore, as having mutual research interests with Professor Gary Milavetz, I believe that under his supervision I would be able to implement the knowledge I will gain during my clinical research into the previously mentioned areas of interest.

With its strong research, history of successful drug development and discovery, diversity, and flexible curriculum that meets each student's interests, I strongly believe that the University of Iowa will surely help me reach my dream of being a researcher pharmacist. In other words, the University of Iowa has everything I am looking for in a PhD program in Clinical Pharmaceutical Sciences. I also attribute my love and admiration to the School of Pharmacy at the University of Iowa to the inspiration I got from many of my distinguished professors who have received their graduate training at the University of Iowa.
With the extensive theoretical knowledge I gained through the past six years in college, my clinical training experience, my previous intercultural experiences, my advanced communication and leadership skills and sense of responsibility towards my community, and above all, my enthusiasm for research, I strongly believe that I make a good fit for your program. I am excited to help through clinical research and practice.
Upon completion of my PhD at the University of Iowa, I see myself as a scientist in one of the research institutions in Jordan or the Gulf area and pursuing my career towards teaching in universities that are affiliated with hospitals. Additionally, I am hoping to motivate my future students, develop my teaching techniques, and contribute to the health advancement in Jordan and the Globe.
In the end, I would like to thank you for considering my application to your very distinguished program. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 348, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...has made this cause achievable. I still cant forget the faces of the underserved peo...
^^^^
Line 1, column 754, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (PhD) must be used with a third-person verb: 'programs'.
Suggestion: programs
...s. Therefore, I am applying to your PhD program in Clinical Pharmaceutical Sciences wit...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 90, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...d a self-driven, optimistic individual. I have a constant desire to learn. Since ...
^
Line 3, column 207, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...pos;Radio Club', 'Science Club,' and 'Drama and Music Club' i...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1636, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...adership, research and teamwork skills. I have cultivated my writing skills thro...
^^^
Line 4, column 85, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...working as a writer at 'JustForJust,' an online newspaper at my university. ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 412, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... patient-related decisions confidently. During my 6-year PharmD program at Jorda...
^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the patients specific characteristics. One of my moments of pride came during m...
^^^
Line 8, column 655, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the patient had to leave the hospital. In addition, I still remember an asthmat...
^^^
Line 9, column 180, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... her on the proper use of her inhalers. In fact, even such simple acts like pati...
^^^
Line 14, column 607, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...le students at Irbid College for Girls. Regarding teamwork skills, I am collabor...
^^^^^^
Line 17, column 202, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...believe that investing in drug research is always promising. I have developed a deep love for antim...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, look, moreover, regarding, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, as to, in addition, in fact, no doubt, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 42.0 19.5258426966 215% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 67.0 14.8657303371 451% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 33.0 11.3162921348 292% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 200.0 33.0505617978 605% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 258.0 58.6224719101 440% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 47.0 12.9106741573 364% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 8696.0 2235.4752809 389% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 1685.0 442.535393258 381% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16083086053 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 6.40692995931 4.55969084622 141% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.33856647624 2.79657885939 119% => OK
Unique words: 705.0 215.323595506 327% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.418397626113 0.4932671777 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 2788.2 704.065955056 396% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 63.0 6.24550561798 1009% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 18.0 1.77640449438 1013% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 24.0 4.38483146067 547% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 78.0 20.2370786517 385% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.453143662 60.3974514979 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.487179487 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6025641026 23.4991977007 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.0 5.21951772744 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 18.0 4.97078651685 362% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 12.0 7.80617977528 154% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 49.0 10.2758426966 477% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 23.0 4.83258426966 476% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0666254621577 0.243740707755 27% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0168604625144 0.0831039109588 20% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0221081061122 0.0758088955206 29% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0318720795248 0.150359130593 21% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0275964561775 0.0667264976115 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.1392134831 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 424.0 100.480337079 422% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.