Schools should cut funding for extracurricular activities such as sports and the arts when school buildings are in need of repair.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this recommendation and explain your rea

Essay topics:

Schools should cut funding for extracurricular activities such as sports and the arts when school buildings are in need of repair.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

It is contrary to my belief that school have to cut its funding for extracurricular activities when the school structure is in need of repair. Extracurrcicular activities are as important as the main academic aspect of school, because when bringing up the subject of school as an educational system, students’ need both academic part and non-academic part which is those extracurricular activities are providing.

Sports and arts are examples of the other non-academic part of study that students need for their life beside academic. In fact, the major part of human life is not about academic, the academic is just one of the tools needed to fill students with more knowledge and sufficient amount of critical thinking. One can not ignore the other part that is playing so much more in human condition: socializing with other people, living their life as what students’ want, striving for their hobby, or making friends with other students with the same hobby. That all contribute just as important as the academic study. When school starts to think that one is more important than the other, then it would produce an imbalance type of person who can be either a quite, unsociable, and extremely bitter critic or the practical and mindless person.

Moreover, not only it is crippled in the philosophy, It would also be wrong to limit the budget saved and fixed for these extracurricular activities, because the preceding system of budget dividing must have included these activities before, so it should not limit the chances for students to get what they deserve in the first place. Whether the school is being funded by government’s money or students’ parents money, the school should have made the basic funding spread for all of the school’s need. In this case, a good school should also have made a contingency plan if their property is broken or simply out of function.

Even if the school itself by some misfortune happen to lose their money, it should search for many other ways to provide the sum of money needed for the restoration of the building. For instance, they can work together with the student union to prepare a fund raising event for the well-being of the school or the school may want to borrow money first from bank, if talking about private schools. Public schools officials should come together and they can go make a proposal to the government in charge to help them with the issue. Those are the kind of ways to make it more constructive not only for the students, but also for the school itself.

All in all, there should always be a contingency plan at first to prevent the need of extra money for the repairment of the school structure, but in case of inevitable condition, the school should find many other ways as described to raise money. Because of all things, students’ should not be sacrificed, they have to get both academic part and also the extracurricular activites necessary for their tools to become better people of the world.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 488, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... have made the basic funding spread for all of the school's need. In this case, a goo...
^^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'then', 'well', 'for instance', 'in fact', 'kind of', 'talking about', 'in the first place']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.23374340949 0.240241500013 97% => OK
Verbs: 0.128295254833 0.157235817809 82% => OK
Adjectives: 0.091388400703 0.0880659088768 104% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0544815465729 0.0497285424764 110% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0386643233743 0.0444667217837 87% => OK
Prepositions: 0.13532513181 0.12292977631 110% => OK
Participles: 0.0333919156415 0.0406280797675 82% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.81269519758 2.79330140395 101% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0298769771529 0.030933414821 97% => OK
Particles: 0.00175746924429 0.0016655270985 106% => OK
Determiners: 0.107205623902 0.0997080785238 108% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0298769771529 0.0249443105267 120% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0140597539543 0.0148568991511 95% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3015.0 2732.02544248 110% => OK
No of words: 507.0 452.878318584 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.94674556213 6.0361032391 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.58838876751 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.34516765286 0.366273622748 94% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.218934911243 0.280924506359 78% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.161735700197 0.200843997647 81% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.116370808679 0.132149295362 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81269519758 2.79330140395 101% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 219.290929204 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465483234714 0.48968727796 95% => OK
Word variations: 53.7870065055 55.4138127331 97% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6194690265 78% => OK
Sentence length: 31.6875 23.380412469 136% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.7383523198 59.4972553346 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 188.4375 141.124799967 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.6875 23.380412469 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.875 0.674092028746 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.21349557522 19% => OK
Readability: 53.5809911243 51.4728631049 104% => OK
Elegance: 1.81746031746 1.64882698954 110% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.401581849994 0.391690518653 103% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.193932697956 0.123202303941 157% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0736605015823 0.077325440228 95% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.650339485462 0.547984918172 119% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.137411242427 0.149214159877 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.190748333973 0.161403998019 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0489363197326 0.0892212321368 55% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.466709863246 0.385218514788 121% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0819824514534 0.0692045440612 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.289132244009 0.275328986314 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0320628065625 0.0653680567796 49% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.4325221239 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.30420353982 113% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88274336283 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 7.22455752212 97% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 3.66592920354 164% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.70907079646 111% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 13.5995575221 118% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.