Social media and the Internet have made it easier for people, especially the young, who are more tech-savvy, to become famous. Though gaining public attention and recognition may represent financial independence and freedom to some degree, the risks are staggeringly high. It is, from a personal view, more advantageous for young people to have a long-term, realistic pursuit.
Indeed immediate fame and recognition from the public can bring a youngster a large income and he may be able to support his family at a young age. This kind of financial independence is desirable to any promising young man. However, the downside is overlooked by some youth fervent about becoming famous. For one thing, only an infinitely small percentage of youngsters seeking fame can turn into successful stars such as Rihanna and the rest are quickly forgotten. Those who have spent years training to be a star but then failed would find themselves lacking the skills and energy to start a new career and may end up in misery. For another, even for young celebrities, life is not filled with fairytales. Greedy agents, fans with too high expectations, and, if unfortunate, demanding family members may push him to go to extremes and try dangerous things such as drugs. This is exactly the case for Lindsay Lohan, who used to be the most famous child star in the US 20 years ago.
On the other hand, a long-term and realistic goal plays a critical role in a young person’s life. One benefit of it is that it induces the young to accumulate knowledge and skills constantly and such accumulation is the foundation of success, since nothing can be achieved without an adequate amount of resources. For example, Barack Obama’s childhood goal to become the president has encouraged him to study and then teach the law for years and later his familiarization of the law system led to a huge success to his political career. Another benefit is that it serves to keep the young on the right track. As young people are full of curiosity and energy, they may be tempted to do harmful things and commit crime out of boredom. A survey carried out in Italy, for instance, shows that most of a gang’s members join it in their teenage years, a time when they need a direction of life the most.
It might be raised that the pursuit of long-term goals can lead to pain because it takes a long time for the young to feel rewarded. This argument is undoubtedly true but introduces an insidious misrepresentation: it equals instant easiness to long-term happiness. People would lose one of the best fast food restaurants if Harland Sanders, who founded KFC at the age of 62, quit his long-term goal to become a successful businessman. Young people need to be reminded that the pursuit of the most painful goal may lead to the happiest results.
In conclusion, it is a more beneficial idea to induce young people to seek a long-term, realistic pursuit. In spite of the financial independence that fame and recognition could bring to them, the side effects may be unbearable. On the contrary, a long-term and reasonable goal, though may cause pain, works to encourage the young to accumulate necessary resources for their future, helps to protect them from temptations and may result in true happiness.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
...have a long-term, realistic pursuit. Indeed immediate fame and recognition from the...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 375, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nders, who founded KFC at the age of 62, quit his long-term goal to become a succ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, look, may, so, then, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, such as, for one thing, in spite of, on the contrary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 33.0505617978 106% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 58.6224719101 116% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2725.0 2235.4752809 122% => OK
No of words: 558.0 442.535393258 126% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8835125448 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86024933743 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79869853325 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 295.0 215.323595506 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528673835125 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 837.0 704.065955056 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.9857142213 60.3974514979 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.541666667 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.25 23.4991977007 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.70833333333 5.21951772744 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.309793058458 0.243740707755 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.091418982987 0.0831039109588 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0770544820387 0.0758088955206 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192139822401 0.150359130593 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.06630350308 0.0667264976115 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.8420337079 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 100.480337079 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.