Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged Others believe that children who are taught to co operate rather than compete become more useful adults Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many parents think that sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that kids who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. In my opinion, there was good and bad effect for the kids.

Since young, parents always encouraged their children to compete with their friends in the class, for example get the first rank or winning in the some competitions. That is good for children but they will feel under pressure if they lose and they do not get the best place . The children will make their parents very disappointed to them. Moreover, the kids...

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Sentence: Moreover, the kids do not want to join any competitions in the school because they afraid if they lose from other friends.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to they and afraid

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 138 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 295 350
No. of Characters: 1370 1500
No. of Different Words: 138 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.144 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.644 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.311 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.185 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5