Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Apparently, nowadays average life expectancies have risen significantly due to several factors such as developments in medicine, people’s awareness of health issues, general rise in life standards and etc. It has given a rise to the opinion that defined ages for retirement ought to be increased. I totally support this idea and will attempt to elucidate my viewpoint below.
To begin with, modern people don’t lose their efficiency as employees at ages that they used to do previously. To be more precise, they look after themselves very well and therefore achieve staying young and effective....
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'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 295 350
No. of Characters: 1472 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.144 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.99 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.807 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.583 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.793 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.627 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5