The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.

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The bar chart shows the number of times per week (in 1000s), over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded from the internet.

The bar chart illustrates the weekly number of downloads from the internet for three different computer packages, over a period of five weeks.

Overall, the most downloaded is on average the ActiveX package, followed by the Java one and at least the Net one.

The download of the Java package is constantly increased over five weeks, starting from approximately seventy times per week to more than 120 times. On the other hand the Net download has followed a disconnected path decreasing form week 1 to week 3 and then it was growing again until the last week. Finally, the ActiveX one described a rising track across time with the exception of week 4, when the number of downloads is diminished for a little proportion.

Although the three different tracks of computer packages downloaded, the ActiveX was the one which had reached the peak with 120 downloads per week, chased by Net with over than 40 times in the 5th week, whereas the Java one accounted for just over 80 times.

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the most downloaded is on average the ActiveX package
the most downloaded package is ActiveX

Although the three different tracks of computer packages downloaded,
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

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The conclusion is not developed well.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 10
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No. of Characters: 793 1000
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 8.32 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.512 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.808 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

Although the three different tracks of computer packages downloaded
Although the three computer packages have followed different tracks, the ActiveX is the one which has reached the higher number of downloads per week at 120 times, followed by Net with over than 40 times during week 5, whereas the Java one accounted for just over 80 times.