cambridge 5 test 2

Essay topics:

cambridge 5 test 2

The data shows the percentage of citizen that have aged 65 and above which start from 1940 to 2040 in Japan, Sweden, and USA.

In 1940, USA had the biggest number of decrepit people which reached 9 percent of their population. In the other country, Japan had 5 percent, and Sweden had 7 percent of decrepit people from their citizen

In contrast, based on scientist supposition, the number of decrepit population will increase significantly around 2025 to 2040 when japan has most significant improvement that reach 27 percent from their population. After that, Sweden 25 percent and USA 23 percent. Scientist approximate this case caused by japans improvement of health with consume health foods. In the other case, USA that had the biggest decrepit in 1940 become the lowest in 2040 because the Americans is influenced by fast food that most of them has bad effect. That is why USA become the lowest one

That is all my report.

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Comments

The data shows the percentage of citizen that have aged 65 and above which start from 1940 to 2040 in Japan, Sweden, and USA.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

people which reached 9 percent of their population.
people who reached 9 percent of their population.

when japan has most significant improvement
when japan has the most significant improvement

Sentence: Scientist approximate this case caused by japans improvement of health with consume health foods.
Description: The fragment Scientist approximate this is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace approximate with verb, past tense
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to japans and improvement

Sentence: In the other case, USA that had the biggest decrepit in 1940 become the lowest in 2040 because the Americans is influenced by fast food that most of them has bad effect.
Description: A numeral, cardinal is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to 1940 and become

Sentence: That is why USA become the lowest one
Description: The fragment USA become the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 159 200
No. of Characters: 752 1000
No. of Different Words: 87 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.551 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.73 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.472 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 52 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 34 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 20 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.238 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.111 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.428 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.674 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.177 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4