The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features ,and make comparisons where relevant.
The four pie charts illustrate the percentages of electricity manufacture by coal, oil, natural gas, hydro and nuclear power between Australia and France within 20 year-difference.
In Australia between 1980 and 2000 although the difference among total production is 70 the amount of coal is the greatest(130),and it approximately covers more than 2 thirds and also the amount of oil is the smallest(10). But in 2000 the amount of natural gas decreases gradually and while at the same time hydro power goes up slightly and becomes more than a quarter of the total.
In France the number of total manufacture units doubles,at the same time nuclear power plummets substantially, and the diversity of it is 111. In 2000 nuclear power surrounds 2 thirds of total production, hydro power and natural gas decline steadily but coal remains stable as 25.
Within 20 years between Australia and France using various fuel is a big diversity. As a result, in 1980 coal is a half of total , but in France natural gas and nuclear power surround a quarter of the total separately. Also in 2000 the coal levels off as the greatest in Australia, but in France nuclear power becomes the highest and both of them cover more than 2 thirds of total.
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In Australia between 1980 and 2000 although the difference among total production is 70 the amount of coal is the greatest(130),and it approximately covers more than 2 thirds and also the amount of oil is the smallest(10)
In Australia between 1980 and 2000, although the difference among total production is 70, the amount of coal is the greatest(130), and it approximately covers more than 2 thirds, and also the amount of oil is the smallest(10)
flaws:
Don't forget punctuation marks.
Don't always use 'and' as connectors. Read some samples:
pattern I:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/charts-below-show-uk-and-usa-energy…
pattern II:
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/climograph-below-shows-average-mont…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 212 200
No. of Characters: 994 1000
No. of Different Words: 94 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.816 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.689 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.684 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 69 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 50 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.519 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.516 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.749 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.174 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4