The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.Summarise the information by selecting the reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

Essay topics:

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting the reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

This bar graph indicates that the ratio of Australian male and female in various age masses who did daily body fitness activity in 2010.The information given in percentages.

To begin with, age groups between 15 to 24, females were not aware about the physical fitness and only 47.7%.After that , it has gradually grown till the age of 45 to 54 around 53.3%. Then, it had slowly decrease in age 55 to 54 also slightly dipped down at the end of age 65 and above and it approximately same as age 15 to 24 because only 0.6% difference between them.

On opposite side, male group between 15 to 24 has more punctual about health and it have 52.8% but when age were up-surge ,males has more careless about their health and significantly plummeted till the end of age 35 to 44 then after, moderately rocketed till the age 65 and above.

To wrap up that,females had not conscious about her health as compare to males because women's has less actively in health activity rather than men's.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
This bar graph indicates that the ratio ...
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Line 1, column 109, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an male and female in various age masses who did daily body fitness activity in 2...
^^
Line 1, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...did daily body fitness activity in 2010.The information given in percentages. ...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he information given in percentages. To begin with, age groups between 15 to ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 127, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: After
...out the physical fitness and only 47.7%.After that , it has gradually grown till the ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 137, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ysical fitness and only 47.7%.After that , it has gradually grown till the age of ...
^^
Line 3, column 222, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'decreased'.
Suggestion: decreased
...to 54 around 53.3%. Then, it had slowly decrease in age 55 to 54 also slightly dipped do...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e only 0.6% difference between them. On opposite side, male group between 15 ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 101, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'has'?
Suggestion: has
...4 has more punctual about health and it have 52.8% but when age were up-surge ,males...
^^^^
Line 5, column 138, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...it have 52.8% but when age were up-surge ,males has more careless about their heal...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... rocketed till the age 65 and above. To wrap up that,females had not consciou...
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Line 7, column 34, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , females
...ve. To wrap up that,females had not conscious about her health as c...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, then, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 7.0 29% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 6.8 118% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.15609756098 158% => OK
Pronoun: 11.0 5.60731707317 196% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 33.7804878049 118% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.97073170732 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 812.0 965.302439024 84% => OK
No of words: 175.0 196.424390244 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.64 4.92477711251 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.63713576256 3.73543355544 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51996162899 2.65546596893 95% => OK
Unique words: 109.0 106.607317073 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.622857142857 0.547539520022 114% => OK
syllable_count: 251.1 283.868780488 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 1.53170731707 196% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.33902439024 23% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 3.36585365854 119% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 8.94146341463 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 22.4926829268 156% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 45.319311557 43.030603864 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 162.4 112.824112599 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.0 22.9334400587 153% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.6 5.23603664747 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 1.69756097561 707% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.09268292683 24% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156690896744 0.215688989381 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0938487344221 0.103423049105 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0511185411126 0.0843802449381 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102503071689 0.15604864568 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0554043554492 0.0819641961636 68% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 13.2329268293 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.87 61.2550243902 86% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.51609756098 172% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.3012195122 142% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 11.4140731707 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.06136585366 105% => OK
difficult_words: 34.0 40.7170731707 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 11.4329268293 162% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 10.9970731707 145% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.0658536585 172% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.