The chart below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Submitted by honrice on Mon, 05/14/2018 - 06:22

The illustrated charts displayed data about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US for the last 50 years since 1970. The purple chart on the left side showed the US honey-bee colonies measured in millions. Whereas the blue chart on the right side showed the US honey production measured in tonnes. The overall of honey-bee industry in US was decreasing for the last 40 years.

First of all, honey-bee colonies reached the peak with 4.2 millions in 1980. The honey production demonstrated a decrease of 20000 tonnes with 110000 tonnes recorded for the same year. Secondly, honey-bee colonies measured the lowest with 1.7 millions in 2010. additionally, the honey production was also at the rock bottom point with 70000 tonnes in the same year. Despite of the gradually decreasing colonies recorded from the year 1980 to 2010, the recorded showed a slightly increase in honey-bee colonies from 4 millions to 4.2 millions from year 1970 to 1980. Meantime, the honey production gave information about a continuously decreasing over the years from 1970 to 2010, except an increased production of 10000 tonnes from 1980 to 1990.

To conclude, the given charts represented the overall honey-bee industry in the US for the last 50 years.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 218, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...oney-bee colonies measured in millions. Whereas the blue chart on the right side showed...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Additionally
...d the lowest with 1.7 millions in 2010. additionally, the honey production was also at the r...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 469, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('slightly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
... year 1980 to 2010, the recorded showed a slightly increase in honey-bee colonies from 4 millions t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, second, secondly, so, whereas, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 7.0 29% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 6.8 15% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 0.0 3.15609756098 0% => OK
Pronoun: 5.0 5.60731707317 89% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 33.7804878049 112% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 3.97073170732 176% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1043.0 965.302439024 108% => OK
No of words: 204.0 196.424390244 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11274509804 4.92477711251 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.77926670891 3.73543355544 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69157824066 2.65546596893 101% => OK
Unique words: 90.0 106.607317073 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.441176470588 0.547539520022 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 287.1 283.868780488 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.33902439024 184% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.07073170732 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 8.94146341463 123% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.4926829268 80% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.6880397081 43.030603864 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.8181818182 112.824112599 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5454545455 22.9334400587 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.09090909091 5.23603664747 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 3.83414634146 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 1.69756097561 177% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.09268292683 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.340249647876 0.215688989381 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.169407252632 0.103423049105 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.067847286007 0.0843802449381 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.246453324686 0.15604864568 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0847063278512 0.0819641961636 103% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 13.2329268293 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 61.2550243902 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.3012195122 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 11.4140731707 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.08 8.06136585366 88% => OK
difficult_words: 33.0 40.7170731707 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.4329268293 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.9970731707 84% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.0658536585 63% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.