The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essay topics:

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph shown in the figure illustrates the information about the percentage of physical activity done by Australian men and women of different ages in a year 2010.

Overall it is observed that, more physical activity is done by the women when compared to men, which are over the age of 25 years. While in the age of 15 to 24 years less physical activity is done by women.

A more detailed look at the graph reveals that the highest percentage of physical activity is done by the males are in the the age of 15 to 24 years, which is about 52.8 %. By contrast lowest percentage of males participating in the physical activity belongs to the age of 35 to 44 years. Whereas highest percentage of women doing regular exercise are in the age of 45 to 54 years. Almost no change in the percentage can be observed in the subsequent age group from 55 to 64 years. Although a drop in the percentage can be seen in the age group can be seen in 65 years and above age group.

Votes
Average: 1.1 (1 vote)
This essay topic by users
Post date Users Rates Link to Content
2019-11-08 sou@M 11 view
2014-01-29 wiwik novianti 70 view
Essays by user sou@M :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 112, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... percentage of physical activity done by Australian men and women of different ag...
^^
Line 3, column 55, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...observed that, more physical activity is done by the women when compared to men, ...
^^
Line 7, column 120, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...al activity is done by the males are in the the age of 15 to 24 years, which is about 5...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 120, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...al activity is done by the males are in the the age of 15 to 24 years, which is about 5...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 177, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'contrast the lowest'.
Suggestion: contrast the lowest
... to 24 years, which is about 52.8 %. By contrast lowest percentage of males participating in th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 233, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...percentage of males participating in the physical activity belongs to the age of ...
^^
Line 7, column 291, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y belongs to the age of 35 to 44 years. Whereas highest percentage of women doing regul...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 462, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be observed in the subsequent age group from 55 to 64 years. Although a drop in...
^^
Line 7, column 477, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the subsequent age group from 55 to 64 years. Although a drop in the percentage...
^^
Line 7, column 552, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...centage can be seen in the age group can be seen in 65 years and above age group....
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, look, whereas, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 7.0 157% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 1.00243902439 299% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 2.0 6.8 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.15609756098 158% => OK
Pronoun: 3.0 5.60731707317 54% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 33.7804878049 115% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.97073170732 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 793.0 965.302439024 82% => OK
No of words: 183.0 196.424390244 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.33333333333 4.92477711251 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.67800887145 3.73543355544 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5232379354 2.65546596893 95% => OK
Unique words: 84.0 106.607317073 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.459016393443 0.547539520022 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 256.5 283.868780488 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 3.36585365854 30% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 8.94146341463 89% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.4926829268 98% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.0747260004 43.030603864 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.125 112.824112599 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.875 22.9334400587 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.23603664747 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 3.83414634146 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 10.0 1.69756097561 589% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 3.70975609756 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 1.13902439024 263% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.09268292683 122% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0108677305171 0.215688989381 5% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00640408876039 0.103423049105 6% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0111231772236 0.0843802449381 13% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0106149902941 0.15604864568 7% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00996891010135 0.0819641961636 12% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 13.2329268293 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 61.2550243902 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.3012195122 92% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.13 11.4140731707 71% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.97 8.06136585366 86% => OK
difficult_words: 26.0 40.7170731707 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.4329268293 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.9970731707 98% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.