You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.Write at least 150 words.You do NOT need to write any addresses.Begin your letter as follows:Dear………………………You have enrolled in an evening course but you have found that you are too busy to c

Essay topics:

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear………………………
You have enrolled in an evening course but you have found that you are too busy to continue and would like to take the course next term instead.
Write a letter to your teacher. In your letter:
• explain the situation and why you cannot continue the course
• say what you would like to do about your studies
• ask for advice about what you can do about the situation
Dear Ms. Smith

Dear Ms. Smith

My name is Eugene Dubinchuk and I have recently enrolled in a business English course which is taught by you. I decided to study in your group because a friend of mine who has recently finished your course highly recommended you as a professional who not only knows her subject but also has significant real business experience.

Initially, I assumed that I will be able to combine working part time in my current job and studying. Unfortunately, my circumstances have changed dramatically my schedule has been changed by my boss in such a way that it is merely impossible for me to allocate time for studying the course.

In other words, I will not be able to study the course, however, I feel a necessity to improve my English and thus I hope that you allow me to take the course in the next semester. I do understand that I may lose some money and if there is a need to pay some extra fee, I will willingly do it.

I also seek a piece of advice from you about my situation. How might I use a time between the terms in order to prepare for your course or may you recommend me literature about the subject which I may use by myself.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully, Mr. Dubinchuk.

Votes
Average: 6.4 (3 votes)
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Essays by user EugeneDubinchuk :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 61, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... that I will be able to combine working part time in my current job and studying. Unfortu...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, so, thus, i feel, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.48453608247 94% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 4.92783505155 162% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 5.05154639175 119% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 3.03092783505 264% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 43.0 32.9175257732 131% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 26.0 26.3917525773 99% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.85567010309 52% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1014.0 937.175257732 108% => OK
No of words: 227.0 206.0 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.46696035242 4.54256449028 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.88156143495 3.78020617076 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69916463452 2.54303337028 106% => OK
Unique words: 131.0 127.690721649 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.577092511013 0.622605031667 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 329.4 290.88556701 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.41237113402 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.13402061856 120% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 1.44329896907 69% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 16.3608247423 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.0818814148 44.8134815571 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.4 76.5299724578 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7 16.8248392259 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.7 4.34317383033 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.29896907216 140% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 7.41237113402 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.49484536082 134% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.94845360825 76% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.247832082058 0.216113520407 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105548638831 0.0766984524023 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0728982399763 0.0603063233224 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126596861927 0.12726935374 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.077763209483 0.0580467560999 134% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 8.37731958763 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 70.7449484536 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 7.45979381443 143% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.94 8.71597938144 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.23 7.59969072165 95% => OK
difficult_words: 36.0 41.2886597938 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 8.62886597938 168% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 8.54432989691 126% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 8.15463917526 135% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

flaws:
1. Some sentences are too long. for IELTS task I, it is more important to explain the issues explicitly. Look at this sentence:

'I decided to study in your group because a friend of mine who has recently finished your course highly recommended you as a professional who not only knows her subject but also has significant real business experience.'

it can be broken to two sentences.

-------------------
2. Need to follow the topic exactly. from the first requirement:

explain the situation and why you cannot continue the course

this is extra, and can be removed:
I decided to study in your group because a friend of mine who has recently finished your course highly recommended you as a professional who not only knows her subject but also has significant real business experience.

--------------------
3. Need to polish the language. Should not always use pronouns as the subject. look:

I will not be able to study the course, however,
I feel a necessity to improve my English and thus
I hope that you allow me to take the course in the next semester.
I do understand that
I may lose some money and if there is a need to pay some extra fee,
I will willingly do it.

----------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 227 250
No. of Characters: 971 1200
No. of Different Words: 127 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.882 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.278 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 60 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.22 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.821 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.237 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5