In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Children appearance of working in a company is a big deal nowadays for some countries. While it is considered a mistaken for some people, I completely disagree due to some valuable reasons.
Employing children is illegal for some countries. Developed countries such as America refuse to allow children in the working place. The governments think that this time children should learn things valuable in the school. Educative plays, studies and basic skills in the school are better stimulation for children to prepare them to have bright future than getting early experience in the working place. However, I believe that having a job can help children to develop self-discipline.
The major thing of having a job to children is because they are starting to experience themselves to manage both time and self-reliance. When children are growing with practised discipline of time especially confident way, than the possibility to have better future is also improved. It is happened to me, when I was 15, I could buy things I adored, and some for parents. At that age, I had understood how to allocate money also I knew appropriately how to respect parents due to experiences of making money difficulties while some friends missed these points.
In conclusion, it is reasonable if some countries consider that working children in order to making money tends to be a mistaken way. However, I believe when we are asking personally to children, they would think positively that getting work experience in their ages is a movement towards better future.
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Sentence: Children appearance of working in a company is a big deal nowadays for some countries.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Children and appearance
The major thing of having a job to children is because they are starting
The major thing of having a job to children is that they are starting
due to experiences of making money difficulties
due to the difficulties of making money
working children in order to making money
working children in order to make money
towards better future.
towards a better future.
Sentence: It is happened to me, when I was 15, I could buy things I adored, and some for parents.
Description: The tag a determiner/pronoun, singular or plural is not usually followed by for
Suggestion: Refer to some and for
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 253 350
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 253 350
No. of Characters: 1266 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.988 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.004 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.85 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.834 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.171 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5