Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, children education aimed to make them good participants of society’s life is a serious cause of concern among people. While some think that it is up to parents to do that, others sustain that schools have the main responsibility.

It is clear that children live with their parents from birth, and because of this they learn how to behave by observing them day by day. Children grow with the conviction that their parents are almost always right, and so they often try to emulate their actions. For these reasons, parents implicitly educate children everyday. Therefore, it is essential that parents give the best example they can to their children.

On the other hand, school is the second place where children spend more time. Teachers have not only to explain to children common subjects such as grammar, mathematics and so on, but also to make children better future citizens. It is not rare, for example, that some children lack the presence of parents, either physically, because they work too far from home, or psychologically, when parents represent bad or even disastrous examples for their sons. In this case, the work of teachers is more difficult, but also more important: without both good parents and teachers, a child may well get lost and approach bad people, who could deviate their personalities.

In my opinion, both points of view are reasonable. I believe that is essential to have a combination of a strong family and good teachers to become a respectable member of our society. If one of the factors is missing, the other side must be able to supply all the necessary things to compensate this lack.

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children education aimed to make them good participants of society’s life is a serious cause of concern among people
the education which aimed to make children good participants of society’s life is a serious cause of concern among people

Teachers have not only to explain to children common subjects such as grammar, mathematics and so on, but also to make children better future citizens.
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly.

I believe that is essential to have
I believe that it is essential to have

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 277 350
No. of Characters: 1319 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.08 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.762 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.537 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.308 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.194 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5