As compared to the past children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV and less time outdoors Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution

Essay topics:

As compared to the past, children these days spend more of their leisure time indoors with computers and TV and less time outdoors. Describe some of the problems this lack of outdoor leisure time can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

Although outdoor activities are recommended by everyone, many young people, especially children, prefer staying at home, doing indoor activities, like spending time watching TV or doing internet researches. This situation can cause many troubles to both mental and physical health.

 

First of all, my opinion is that doing outdoor activities helps for all intents and purposes health of our body. With outdoor activities, I do not mean only sports, but also other activities such as going shopping, walking, hanging out with friends, and all this things, therefore, would help our body’s mus...

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Comments

flaws:
Need some arguments before you give examples.

Try this pattern:
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paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.

paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1(arguments here) + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.

paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2(arguments here) + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.

paragraph 4: qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however"...

paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 272 350
No. of Characters: 1336 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.061 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.912 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.637 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.345 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.51 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.719 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.564 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 9 5