Please review my IELTS essay: Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people argue that the lack of social and emotional learning from families and schools is a primary reason for the increasing popularity of juvenile crimes. Personally, I totally agree with this view due to the influence of parents on children and excessive focus on the achievements of teachers.
To begin with, since the majority of young people live with their families, their parents have a huge impact on their offspring. More specifically, as most parents in a fast-paced society are busy and stressed with their work, they have limited time to educate their children on how to tell right from wrong and sometimes can have negative words or behaviors which can adversely the children’s emotional development. For instance, if young people live in a family where domestic violence occurs on a regular basis, their characters will be more likely to be aggressive, resulting in behavioral problems outside the home in the future.
In addition, the modern educational system tends to emphasize more on academic outcomes rather than possessing an ethical mindset. In fact, students are often encouraged to compete with each other to get the highest reward, and the winners would receive more attention and preferences from teachers and schools. This can lead to resentment among young generations since they could feel envy for their friends. As a result, innocent children will have a tendency to find ways to win others without considering how bad their actions are, which may lead to violent crimes later on.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that parents and educators should be responsible for crimes caused by teenagers due to the effect of parents on the children and overlooking of ethical perspectives of many teachers.
- Please help me review my WRITING TASK 1 IELTS
- Please review my IELTS essay Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18 Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning from p 78
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, look, may, so, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 24.0651302605 66% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 41.998997996 121% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1461.0 1615.20841683 90% => OK
No of words: 281.0 315.596192385 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.19928825623 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09427095027 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77495196441 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 176.041082164 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.601423487544 0.561755894193 107% => OK
syllable_count: 457.2 506.74238477 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.2975951904 138% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.1849602801 49.4020404114 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.1 106.682146367 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.1 20.7667163134 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.6 7.06120827912 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176404962876 0.244688304435 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0714956142276 0.084324248473 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0477736062874 0.0667982634062 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119966913555 0.151304729494 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.050124276614 0.056905535591 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 13.0946893788 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 50.2224549098 86% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.3001002004 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.4159519038 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.75 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 78.4519038076 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.1190380762 130% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.