"Prevention is better than cure."Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures.

Submitted by sani 22 on Wed, 03/14/2018 - 22:18

In this world, many people are dying from various types of health related problems due to the lacking of appropriate health education and preventive actions. That is why a government should expend a huge amount of money from health budget for cure-related education as well as preventive measure. It is agreed that this policy has a great number of benefits and this will be proven by analysing economical point of view of a country and the health aspects of people.

Firstly, many regimes spend an enormous amount of money in order to treat their people who are suffering from different types of serious diseases. This extravagance can be easily diminished when state commences of healthcare educational system by spending money to the health teaching system. As an example, if the administration perceives to their slums that smoking, drinking, and so on is bad things for human body through this educational program, many people will be not attacked by the severe sickness. This could save a large amount of money of the state. As can be clearly seen from this illustration that the idea may bring colossal economic benefit to the government.

Secondly, many governments fight against several types of diseases, especially diabetes and the heart diseases. Before these health problems assault the people, it can be ceased by taking some preventive measure. For example, exercise, sports, entertainment etc. can decrease the chances to become these patients. Making parks, playground, and cinema hall can influence people to do exercise, which can protect the people from these intense sicknesses. This can be achieved by investing the money in preventive measures from health budget.

In conclusions, this idea is indispensable not only to the people but also to the governments. However, the tremendous amenities of this policy fortify my argument. Therefore, a government should spend money for health education and preventive measure from health budget.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 564, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e a large amount of money of the state. As can be clearly seen from this illustrat...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for example, in conclusion, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1657.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 312.0 315.596192385 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3108974359 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82493643491 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 176.041082164 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541666666667 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.5446007198 49.4020404114 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.4705882353 106.682146367 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3529411765 20.7667163134 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.17647058824 7.06120827912 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.239691973808 0.244688304435 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0894232406309 0.084324248473 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100914223692 0.0667982634062 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175348937644 0.151304729494 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0636044502956 0.056905535591 112% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 13.0946893788 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 50.2224549098 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.4159519038 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 78.4519038076 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.