Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There can be no doubt that the topic of the rising in overweight in children is one which deserves some analysis. It's the opinion of this writer that the weight of evidence tips the scales toward those who believe that government is responsible for this problem.
Central to this issue is the point that the tax for grocery which increases the rate of obesity is not high. Parents can easy to purchase to buy candy for their children in order to keep them calm and silent. This is supported by a recent study by industry experts, which indicated that parents buy at least 1 pack of candy when they go out shopping with their children.
Advertisement is also an essential element of this case. Government should limit the advertisement about food and drink on tv. When children watch those advertisements, they want to eat more. Government need allow more tv shows which teach about healthy routine for children to decreased the rate of overweight.
A final consideration is that there are a lot of fast-food brands. In the 50 years before, the rate of obesity in children was so low. However, in modern life, children eat too much fast food per week. The government needs to limit or increase tax on fast food to control the rate of obesity.
Thus it can be seen that the rate of children who are overweight increased by unhealthy groceries, advertisements about food and soft drinks, and fast-food brands. Therefore, there is ample evidence to conclude that the government needs responsible for the high rate of obesity in children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 115, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...en is one which deserves some analysis. Its the opinion of this writer that the wei...
^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ood to control the rate of obesity. Thus it can be seen that the rate of childre...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, therefore, thus, at least, no doubt
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 7.30460921844 219% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 41.998997996 98% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1287.0 1615.20841683 80% => OK
No of words: 265.0 315.596192385 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85660377358 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03470204552 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68216688965 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 176.041082164 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.539622641509 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 386.1 506.74238477 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.5377733311 49.4020404114 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.8 106.682146367 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6666666667 20.7667163134 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.86666666667 7.06120827912 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152392634703 0.244688304435 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0570634080702 0.084324248473 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0479961244593 0.0667982634062 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0938522685908 0.151304729494 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0266968097705 0.056905535591 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 13.0946893788 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 50.2224549098 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.3001002004 77% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 12.4159519038 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.34 8.58950901804 85% => OK
difficult_words: 48.0 78.4519038076 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.