Some people think the main reason for success is hard work and determination While other people think factors like money and personal appearance are also important Discuss both views and give your own opinions

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Some people think the main reason for success is hard work and determination.
While other people think factors like money and personal appearance are also important.
Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

The key to success may vary from person to person. But among all those crucial factors, hard work and determination is indispensable. However, recently, some people tend to believe that good-looking men or women and those with fortune are easier to succeed. While this assertion to me seems too be opportunistic.

Personal appearance and money may bring about more opportunities at first. It is natural that employer would hire people looker better with the same background. Therefore, many youngster choose to have a plastic surgery before the interview. Also, money sometimes counts when a business man is just start his cause. The initial funds provide access to more commercial opportunities. However, money and personal appearance is by no means a necessary leverage for success.

The attractive physical appearance may bring the opportunity, it is the hard work and determination help one to seize the opportunity. The good-looking applicant get the job offer not because of his or her pretty face but mostly attribute to the endless dedication and full preparation. But since other people does not acknowledge of that, they are made believe that appearance plays a role.

Moreover, though money is important for beginners, if they do not have the needed knowledge and lack the foresight, they would end up being nobody. A classic example in point is the business story of Jack Ma, the most influential e-commerce tycoon in China. He started off with no monetary support from his family. His advanced speaking English helps him to gain the initial funds for his online business. His later success in e-commerce was largely owing to his frontier envision. Therefore, money may lead to opportunities, but it would not yield success.

Therefore, from my perspective, those person who claim that physical appearance and money would lead to success is only finding the excuse for their failure. It is hard for me to define what lead to success, but it is safe to say that without diligent work and aspiration, success would not happen.

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2014-05-31 evayap 65 view
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hard work and determination is indispensable
hard work and determination are indispensable

are easier to succeed. While this assertion to me seems too be opportunistic.
are easier to succeed, while this assertion to me seems to be opportunistic.

when a business man is just start his cause.
when a business man is just starting his cause.

The good-looking applicant get the job offer
The good-looking applicant gets the job offer

But since other people does not acknowledge of that, they are made believe that appearance plays a role.
But since other people do not acknowledge of that, they are made to believe that appearance plays a role.

Sentence: It is natural that employer would hire people looker better with the same background.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and looker

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.857 21.0

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1661 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.988 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.721 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.751 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5