Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although, it is believed that recompenses ought to be received by those with better academic achievements, others think that it should be given to students which improve their grades. In my opinion, I consider that is more beneficial to support graduates who work to lift their performances. This essay will discuss both aspects of this debate.

On the one hand, better outcomes can be obtained from students who record improvements. It has to be taken into consideration that some of these undergraduates tend to underperform academically, due to the fact that they need to work to pay for their studies, which leads to fatigue and lack of focus during classes. For instance, those who get better grades could receive a grant or scholarship, that would help them to pay a part of their tuition, which would probably make them quit their jobs or chose a part-time work, so they can fully apply themselves into studies.

On the other hand, some argue that rewarding should be granted only to those with exceptional performances. Even if their academic results are very good, these students have higher motivations to excel in school, then just some possible incentives given by their educational institution. For example, adolescents who want to work as lawyers, know that they need to have good grades in order to be accepted for internship, and that is why academic institutions ought to direct their prizes to those who started increasing their results.

In conclusion, colleges would better sustain students with grades on the rise, and not concentrate on those that already have good performances.

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Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l discuss both aspects of this debate. On the one hand, better outcomes can be ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, so, then, as to, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 7.30460921844 246% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 39.0 24.0651302605 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1352.0 1615.20841683 84% => OK
No of words: 263.0 315.596192385 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14068441065 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02706775958 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8627164065 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 176.041082164 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.58174904943 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 405.9 506.74238477 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.0543809158 49.4020404114 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.2 106.682146367 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3 20.7667163134 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.5 7.06120827912 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189130073243 0.244688304435 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0839605337223 0.084324248473 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0435597614077 0.0667982634062 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117662608737 0.151304729494 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0618156718807 0.056905535591 109% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 50.2224549098 107% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 78.4519038076 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.