Women should give up their jobs and go back to their traditional roles of home maker in order to reduce world s unemployment To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Women should give up their jobs and go back to their traditional roles of home maker in order to reduce world’s unemployment.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Unemployment is a common issue over the world and government of each country has some specific plans to ameliorate the fact. In modern era, women’s participation is significant in all economic sectors but some people argue that whether women were desisted themselves into entering the job market, the unemployment situation never been worsen. However, I am totally unconvinced with the given point.

Now, the world is more challenging than in nineteen century and it is imperative a combined workforce from men and women to a sustainable economic development. Developed countries in the world, where, the job market gives an equal opportunity for female and male. Statistically, all western countries have less unemployment problem. Thus, jobless issue is not depend on women’ adjoining in careers. Recently, world overcame the economic recession and some factors were considered cause of the crisis, unemployment was one of the most reason, but after a beneath investigation, it has been clear that recession had been started after collapsing the gigantic share markets in the world and consequently unemployment rate had an alarming stage. So, open career opportunity for women cannot bring any adverse effect of employment.

A contradict picture received from African and South Asian countries, those states are under economic developed or poor. Unemployment rate is high in Bangladesh, India, Sudan and West Africa, but participation in job place of female candidates is not same as opulent countries, after that unemployment problem is overwhelmed of their economy severely. Some people from the thirds world countries think if a woman go out from her home and join a work, ultimately a position will be lost for a man and it will be spurring in unemployment rate. But actual scenario is that for some religious or social factors, women’s rights are violated completely in most of the pauper countries. One of the MDG suggestions for economic faltering countries in the world had to ensure women empowerment because this trend could change your country’s economic infrastructure and gradually unemployment issue will never be a fact.

To conclude, it is my opinion that if a country wants to diminish the unemployment rate, which country has to take a contingency plan on overall economic development, by which women should encourage in different common and challenging job roles. Finally, to create more places in the job competitions, my dissident’s thinking is a worthless and has no justification.

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the unemployment situation never been worsen.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

and it is imperative a combined workforce from men and women to a sustainable economic development
and it is imperative for a combined workforce from men and women to a sustainable economic development

jobless issue is not depend on
jobless issue does not depend on

were considered cause of the crisis
were considered as the cause of the crisis

one of the most reason,
one of the most reasons,

if a woman go out from her home
if a woman goes out from her home

my dissident’s thinking is a worthless and has no justification.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 2066 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.217 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.013 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.402 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5