Agree or disagree playing computer games is a waste of time Children should not be allowed to play them

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Agree or disagree?
playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.

Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that computer games are useless for the children. Contrary to this popular belief, there are still those who argue that not only the computer games could be beneficial for the children, but also assist the children in many other aspects. I, to a great extent, agree with the latter view point that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of computer games in many facets. In the following paragraphs, I will explicate my reasons in details to buttress my position toward the argument.

First and foremost, the computer games are helpful for developing their creativity. They confront different struggles through the games that are made them to take a rational decision about their next action or think about the puzzle to solve it. Also, there are especial games that are designed exclusively for improving the children's creativity. They would have this chance that enjoy the game and learn simultaneously. Whereas this opportunity does not happen easily in the many classrooms and their other daily activities.

The other substantial reason that should be taken under consideration is that the children should be taught not to spend much time on playing the games. Also there should not be restricted of playing the games at all. As we all know that the overdoing and deprivation of each activity can be really harmful. Since the computer games are a good and positive way for their spare time. On the other hand, if they are forbidden to play computer games in the home, they would watch other useless TV programs to spend their time. In many cases, the TV shows just make them more lethargic and have no especial benefit for them.

Finally yet importantly, there are some kinds of computer games that are about the cultural or historical matters. They are such kind of storytelling. Then, they would learn through the playing the computer games. These days, there are variety of computer games which are about the folks and important historical events. The graphical and animated characteristics of the games are really attractive for them and they can learn many things and the stories stick into their mind.

To recapitulate briefly, based on aforementioned reasons, I can draw this conclusion that the computer games is not a waste of time. Computer games can propitiate their creativity, be one of the best way of entertainments and tell the children different educational stories. These are some of advantages that they have in spite of their disadvantages.

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not only the computer games could be beneficial for the children, but also assist the children in many other aspects
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

They would have this chance that enjoy the game
They would have this chance that enjoys the game
They would have this chance to enjoy the game

the computer games is not a waste of time.
the computer games are not a waste of time.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 2046 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.954 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.644 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.957 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.41 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5