Children rely too much on the technology, like computer, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment, so playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’ development.
With the technology becomeing more and more advanced, more and more kids have more opportunities to touch smart devices. In this case, some people claims that nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, so they believe that children should spend more time playing with the simple toys or play outsides. From my perspective, playing with the technology cannot create troublesome to children, but also can help children a lot.
Initially, using the technology can help students to learn extra knowledge. This is because in the smart devices, they can enter to the learning websites and learn some new words from the games. For example, when I was a little boy, I always played computer games during the weekend days. However, the good computer games were usually invented by some developed countries, especially United States of America. In this case, if I wanted to know the methods about how to play these games, I had to understand the meaning of game introductions. Therefore, I had to typed the words which I did not understand on the electronic dictionary to search their meanings. In this process, I learned a lot of new words. However, if I just played with the simpler toys or went outsides, I might not have opportunities to know the new words. From this event, it is obvious to see that playing the electronic games can bring benefits to children.
Additionally, playing the computer games can help students to find more friends. This is because when they are playing a game, they sometimes need to build a team with other people, so they might meet each other. For instance, my brother Tom who is a student studies in a local primary school. He usually plays computer games during the leisure time. one game name is LOL, in this game, he needs to build a team with other people. At first time, he chooses teamers usually by random, but few month later, he find some people who have perfect skills to play games, so he begins to just invest them to build a game when he is establishing a team. In this case, he and his teamers begin to understand each other ask telephone numbers to each other. In this case, they become more and more similar with each other. Eventually, they become good friends. On the contrary, if my brother just plays with toys, he might not have chances to make more friends.
All in all, playing with the electronic games might not bring some negative effects to students, but also will create some positive consequences to students.
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for for the government to spend money on art museum and concert halls than on recreational facilities such as swimming pools and play grounds. 60
- Competition among friends usually has a negative effect on friendship 80
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement The most important ways to improve the people s health is to clean the environment Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 60
- Agree or disagree: In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources. 66
- Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children s future for them 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 352, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
...computer games during the leisure time. one game name is LOL, in this game, he need...
^^^
Line 9, column 509, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'finds'.
Suggestion: finds
...ally by random, but few month later, he find some people who have perfect skills to ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, therefore, for example, for instance, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2060.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 430.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79069767442 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53481544606 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472093023256 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 623.7 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.2583267645 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.5652173913 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6956521739 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.82608695652 5.45110844103 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.229214675245 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0724596171607 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070985331716 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146516646081 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0628479407955 0.0645574589148 97% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.