Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For the future career success, is relating well to other people more important than studying hard at school?
The latest information that each social member has to have for the success is constantly changing and modifying every second. In this fast-moving complex society, it is important to build up good relationship to success. For the successful adaptation of advancement, I believe that having excellent relationship with others is more important than studying at school with the following reasons.
based on the good human relationship, the work can be quickly finished than the person who has any relationship. For instance, in the movie industry, at the least, over 500 workers are required for the one movie. For the successful movie, 500 qualified workers are the minimum number. even if movie director is genius for the movie making, it is impossible to do all the work within a scheduled period. However, if he has strong and wide network related with the movie making, not only speed for the film making will be faster than others but it also possible to produce a movie with a higher quality. For the constant relationship, the workers will work hard for the better outcome. For the better outcome, relating well with others is inevitable.
Furthermore, it has only limited chances for the success by studying in school. Some people might say all the relationship is based on the ability that one person has. even if he or she has an excellent relationship in society, it is impossible to build the better relationship or pursue the higher success without any ability that person can help each other. For example, consider the amount of university number in the world and the student number who are undergoing a similar major for 3 to 4 years. Except the few excellent students in school, most students’ ability and knowledge that obtained from the school is naturally restricted. than how could rest of over 90 to 80 students can success? it is all decided depend on whether they are related well others or not. Each student can acquire most recent information and modified outcome through the relationship. The information that the textbook can only show is official data that anyone can use with the simple search. but genius and unique data or idea is only provided through human resources.
As a result, to success, having good relationship is critical. without considering limitation, not only high quality outcome is given from the well structured group but is also possible to do work that was seem impossible.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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...t school with the following reasons. based on the good human relationship, th...
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...ool with the following reasons. based on the good human relationship, the wor...
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...alified workers are the minimum number. even if movie director is genius for the mov...
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...ting well with others is inevitable. Furthermore, it has only limited chances...
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...sed on the ability that one person has. even if he or she has an excellent relations...
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...rom the school is naturally restricted. than how could rest of over 90 to 80 student...
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...rom the school is naturally restricted. than how could rest of over 90 to 80 student...
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... of over 90 to 80 students can success? it is all decided depend on whether they a...
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... anyone can use with the simple search. but genius and unique data or idea is only ...
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...ly provided through human resources. As a result, to success, having good rel...
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..., having good relationship is critical. without considering limitation, not only high q...
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Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'seemed'.
Suggestion: seemed
...ut is also possible to do work that was seem impossible.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, second, so, well, as to, for example, for instance, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 43.0788530466 46% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2048.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 405.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05679012346 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77863909829 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491358024691 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 627.3 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.9999244103 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.0909090909 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4090909091 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.54545454545 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289756201618 0.236089414692 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0896083806307 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0873824004014 0.0737576698707 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179445049946 0.150856017488 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0833042781361 0.0645574589148 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 68.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.