Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Future is where we are making with our decisions, not the where we get by chance, so it is very significant to make perfect decision. Everyone will approve or disapprove the title statement based on his/her own characters, emotional concerns, personal experience or educational background. In my perspective, I almost agree that a person shouldn't make an important decision alone, however a logical response demands careful analyses from both sides, thus I present the following points.
First, sometimes groups make bad or irrational decision due to presence of someone who has authority, but not enough knowledge. For instance, when I was working for a computer company, I suggested to produce advance designed computers in order to sell more. Unfortunately, some co-workers didn't support me because they though it is wasting money, they even convinced me to give up. At last, this decision cost a lot of money for our company due to losing our customers.
On the other hand, counseling with other people and using their wisdom, can show you a new way with better opportunities. The importance of the group thinking is also verified by ancient kings who always asked their hands about the possible solutions. Having access to the brilliant and talented people in their council, they could build and manage a big realm, which is impossible to be done by one person.
Furthermore, by asking other people about their circumstance, you can save money and time. I mean there may be new events and news that you don't aware of and getting these kind of information can be functional in the decisions you want to make. As an instance, I wanted to join to the army, like my friend John who was an officer in there. Asking him about his condition in army, I preferred to be a teacher because he told me I can make more money this way and I will have more free time.
To sum up, I don't deny that there may be some cases that you may make bad decision by asking other's idea, but taking all the factors into account and accurate analyses, I claim that it is better to council with other people, such as friends or family members. So, if you want to make a vital decision, I suggest you to ask other's opinion before making any choices.
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- Statement of Purpose 70
Sentence: Future is where we are making with our decisions, not the where we get by chance, so it is very significant to make perfect decision.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a WH-adverb
Suggestion: Refer to the and where
to make perfect decision.
to make perfect decisions.
to make a perfect decision.
due to presence of someone
due to the presence of someone
flaws:
Less examples wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1787 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.536 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.536 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.238 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5