Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Educating children have been always a controversial topic. A good education can make a child a successful person in future and a wrong education can ruin her/his future. Some people believe that technological devices such as mobile phones and computers make educating children a difficult task; others would disagree. In my view not only does it not make it difficult but if we use it in a right way, we can educate the children better.
First, children can learn a lot of things even when they play a game on their phone. Technological devices help students to learn a lot. In past, children spend their time playing in the streets, but now they spend their free time on their tablets or mobile phones which in my view has a lot of benefits such as it is not as dangerous as playing in the dangerous street with some unknown children. For example, last week I was in my sisters home. My nephew spent all day sitting on the couch and play with her tablet. When I asked her to show me the game that she was playing, I notice that the game was great because at the end of each level they asked three questions from different topics such as history, art, science etc. and if she answered all of them correctly, she could go to the next level. This experience taught me that even a game could be useful in educating purpose and we have to just use these devices in a way that improve the educating process.
Second, students would have a lot of fun when they play even a useless game which definitely increases their efficiency. I think that in past the only hobby that students had was playing with their siblings of friends and as today most of the children are the only child of the family, they need other recreations to avoid depression. These devices can bring lots of happiness for children. For instance, I read in the newspaper that scientists conduct a research in which they compare two different group of children in school. The first group spent at least one hour on their laptops and mobile phones watching cartoons or playing games. The other group did not have any of these devices. They showed that the first group was always happier and more energetic in the classes and as a result, they got better marks in the exams. As you can see educating children is affected positively by these devices.
In sum, though some may believe that technological advancment has made educating children difficult, but as you can see not only does it help the students to learn a lot of things while they using these devices, but also they bring them a lot of fun and happiness which will increase their efficency while they are studying. In my veiw, the government should invest money in creating the useful applications for children and encourage them to use them.
- TPO 39. 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 386, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a right way" with adverb for "right"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... not make it difficult but if we use it in a right way, we can educate the children better. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 138, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'In the past'?
Suggestion: In the past
...l devices help students to learn a lot. In past, children spend their time playing in t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 454, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...n the newspaper that scientists conduct a research in which they compare two different gro...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 501, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'group' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'groups'.
Suggestion: groups
...rch in which they compare two different group of children in school. The first group ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 831, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...lt, they got better marks in the exams. As you can see educating children is affec...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, while, as to, at least, for example, for instance, i think, such as, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2278.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 494.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.61133603239 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71445763274 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46586291776 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457489878543 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 692.1 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.1826889532 48.9658058833 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.545454545 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4545454545 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95454545455 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186651466928 0.236089414692 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.056679733355 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0400754531406 0.0737576698707 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120392946255 0.150856017488 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0211464475966 0.0645574589148 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.19 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.