Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Although it can be argued that teenager should not work at part-time job, I disagree that it has bad effect on them because from my point of view it provides lots of abilities, which can be consider as advantages of this opinion. If I want to mention to three most important merits of this issue, I will listed them as makes teenagers to be responsible, interacting with real life, and finally, makes them to have self-confidence.
First of all, nowadays most of the children and teenagers grow up without any responsibility. Most of parents do everything and provide whatever their children asked. At least they have just one duty and it is just studying, most of parents consider their children just as a student, who does not have any task except studying. Although it is necessary to provide good condition for children to study well and be successful in their educations; on the other hand, it causes children to have carefree personality, which can make they face serious problem in the future.
Moreover, as I mentioned above most of the children`s duty is studying in this case they just experience two environments, home and school, which we cannot defined them as real society. Most of us after graduation experience this feeling that real life and society is different from what we tasted until that time. We mostly in our teen age`s periods think that we are capable of anything and everything should be prepared for us because we are unique; however, if we have an interaction with real society, we will change our viewpoints towards to life and our self. Working part time provides this opportunity for teenagers.
Finally, working and earning your own money cause you to have self-confidence. It shows that you are able to stand on your own feet. In my perspective, it is good chance for timid and shy teenagers to experience this feeling and gains some confidence. In this way they learn to live independently.
To recap, although some parents think, working can hurt their studies, from my point of view it is good opportunity to experience new environments and gain some experiences, which can be helpful in the future.
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- In today’s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. 60
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 80
- tpo21 60
- tpo15 60
which can be consider as advantages
which can be considered as advantages
Sentence: If I want to mention to three most important merits of this issue, I will listed them as makes teenagers to be responsible, interacting with real life, and finally, makes them to have self-confidence.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and listed
it is good chance
it is a good chance
it is good opportunity
it is a good opportunity
Sentence: Moreover, as I mentioned above most of the childrens duty is studying in this case they just experience two environments, home and school, which we cannot defined them as real society.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to cannot and defined
Sentence: We mostly in our teen ages periods think that we are capable of anything and everything should be prepared for us because we are unique; however, if we have an interaction with real society, we will change our viewpoints towards to life and our self.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to ages and periods
Sentence: Finally, working and earning your own money cause you to have self-confidence.
Description: The fragment money cause you is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace cause with verb, past tense
Sentence: Moreover, as I mentioned above most of the childrens duty is studying in this case they just experience two environments, home and school, which we cannot defined them as real society.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 365 350
No. of Characters: 1728 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.371 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.734 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.692 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.637 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.6 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5