Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The extended family is less important now than it was in the past.
Without a shadow of doubt, family can be considered as the most precious gift in one’s life. Statistically speaking, suicidal rates are much higher among people who live alone rather than with a family. Therefore, the importance of decisions regarding the way of living with a family cannot be taken lightly. One of these decisions is whether to live only with the parents and the siblings or to accompany one’s higher-degree relatives – that is – grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins as well. In my opinion, the first way, also called the “nuclear family”, suits today’s lifestyle better. My reasons for this claim are manifold, three conspicuous ones of which are elaborated upon hereunder.
First and foremost, nowadays, people spend a great portion of their time working. In the past, one could spend the morning on his or her job and return home in the evening to enjoy the companion of his or her family. Presently, in order to survive in the hectic lifestyle of today’s societies, one has to work much more than before. Even some people have to spend the night-time catching up with their work, and, although it is believed that communicating with the family makes one happier, thereby enhancing his or her work performance, nowadays, for many people, happiness is more associated with success in work. People who have little time to spend on their job because of their family are more prone to failure at work, which affects their mood negatively and exacerbates the situation. Therefore, the galloping rates at which working hours rise leave too little time for one to spend with the extended family.
In addition, previously, an important merit of living with an extended family was the grandparents’ skills for taking care of the children and training them for their future. Being experienced, they could teach the kids important lessons like social skills and ethics. Nowadays, while being at work, parents are not much concerned about their children since one can send his or her kids to kindergartens in order to be sure about their safety and proper upbringing. Moreover, applications and books suitable for children are available that teaches them skills vital for their future.
Last but not least, formerly, relatives used to live close to each other since the children did not feel the need to emigrate from their hometown. Nowadays, young people travel across cities and countries to seek opportunities that can change their life for better while their parents prefer to stay in their hometown. Although some people argue that leaving one’s parents behind and traveling to the other side of the world is cruel, actually, thanks to the advancements in technology, parents are not far away from their beloved children anymore. Being in touch with each other is easier than before with means of communication like mobile phones and the Internet.
To sum up, with all this taken into account, I assert that the nuclear family, rather than the extended family, is emphasized today due to the increase in people’s working hours, popularity of kindergartens and the media, and the improvements in technology. However, while the number of people in the family is reduced, the amount of love and kindness in their hearts has remained the same.
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applications and books suitable for children are available that teaches them skills vital for their future.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Words: 538 350 //Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 538 350
No. of Characters: 2645 1500
No. of Different Words: 264 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.816 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.916 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.5 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.917 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5