Do you agree or disagree with this sentence:People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with this sentence:
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

The 21century lifestyle of over-work and almost no time for leisure is taking its toll on people. That is why people have many errands, those things they need to do, leave undone. Why is that? Well, I believe people would rather relax and de-stress via personal enjoyment rather than do thing they need to do in order to rest their bodies and minds. But the roles and effects of enjoyment in people's life are different because people have a different interpretation from personal-enjoyment. In the following I will state my reasons.

In first category, Enjoyment for people is a good way for resting their bodies and minds. If you consider a person who work in a company and he has to spend much time in front of computer in order to do his job. For this person going to gym or rest breaks between working times can be a personal-enjoyment. This kind of enjoyment is very helpful to human health and promotes the efficiency of person because sitting in front of computer for a longtime without any activity has negative effects on human's health. Recent researches show using computer all day can shorten life-expectancy. Thus company and person benefit from healthy personal-enjoyment and enjoyment has a correct concept.

Second category shows a group of people that interpretation of them about enjoyment going on a wrong way. Consider a person who has same conditions in his work but social network and surfing the web are the enjoyment for person. He always chats with his friends between working times and cannot concentrate on his job correctly. In this situation personal-enjoyment reduces the efficiency of person in his work and cause problems for his health. Because he should do his job correctly and has a sense of responsibility to his work and company in one side and he must has exercise and activity for his health. In fact in this case, spending too much time on personal-enjoyment is harmful.

Additionally, assume another group of people who just want to do every works for enjoyment without any goals in their life and always waste their times just for having fun. In this case, human has not important role in society and an important goal in his life. For example, I have one friend that never concentrates on her lesson and she just makes a plan to go shopping and has party with her friends. She always wastes her life and time for meaningless goal and finally university expel her.

All in all as you see above, the people have different interpretations of enjoyment and the roles of enjoyment are different in their life. In my view people should have a good balance among different aspects of their life because human is a social creature and it is important that everyone has an effective role in society and at the same time has enjoyment for having good mental and body conditions.

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people deal with many issues which intense anxiety and stress
people deal with many issues which are intense in anxiety and stress

it is natural reaction that increase the tendency
it is a natural reaction that increases the tendency

it is good point that
it is a good point that

consider a person that has same condition in his work
consider a person who has same conditions in his work

and he always chat with his friends
and he always chats with his friends

personal-enjoyment reduce the efficiency
personal-enjoyment reduces the efficiency

assume a person that just want to do some work
assume a person who just wants to do some work

I have one friend that never concentrate on her lesson
I have one friend who never concentrates on her lesson

and the role of enjoyment are different
and the roles of enjoyment are different

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1881 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.784 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.176 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.996 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Definitions of 'intense':

adjective

of extreme force, degree, or strength.
"the job demands intense concentration"
synonyms: extreme, great, acute, fierce, severe, high, exceptional, extraordinary, harsh, strong, powerful, potent, overpowering, vigorous, serious

having or showing strong feelings or opinions; extremely earnest or serious.

"an intense young woman, passionate about her art"
synonyms: passionate, impassioned, ardent, fervent, zealous, vehement, fiery, emotional, earnest, eager, animated, spirited, vigorous, energetic, fanatical, committed