Do you agree or disagree?People today spend to much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather then they should do.
Nowadays, with the facilities that progressing world brings our life becomes easier. We are able to do our task just in seconds. In this way, since we complete our tasks in a shorter duration than required people have more leisure time. People evaluate that slack time with lots of activities, that help them to keep the balance in their life, and stimulate, refresh them. There is an argument states people spend too much time on personal enjoyment that they like rather then they should do. I strongly disagree with that statement for two reasons, which in the following essay I will explain.
First of all, the reason to be mention is everything is keep going. If people spend too much time on personal enjoyment that they like rather than they should do , then every systems in community should have collapsed. However, we see the systems in every part of community keep going. People claim they spend too much time on personal enjoyment, but actually it looks like they do. For example, as I mentioned employees can complete their task just in seconds, when they have no more additional task to refresh themselves they spend some time on the personal enjoyment. Today, workers, such as coders can write a new program for the company in a week and separate time to themselves a month. Thus, since everything in the community keeps going with no disruption it shows people do not spend too much time on personal things.
Furthermore, the other reason is in the reality the world is a big competition. To gain money or maintain the existence as a citizen in the society we need to sacrifice ourselves enjoyments, and should do what we have to do. For instance, I am an engineering student, and I know how difficult to find a job in this century, so keep studying, dedicate myself to my courses, and limit the time that I use for my personal enjoyment. People might claim students are not working enough, however students are aware of their responsibilities, and desires. To success their goals they sacrifice their self enjoyment, and focus on to the required do list. Hence, since everyone is aware of the competition in this world they try hard to do their task rather spend too much time on personal enjoyment.
In nut shell, In my view people do not spend too much time on personal enjoyment, conversely they are aware of their goals, and reality. They focus on the required tasks. Additionally, if they would have spent too much time for nothing rather than things they should do, in ever sector, or in society lots things should have collapsed, and went wrong.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 473, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
Suggestion: than
...ersonal enjoyment that they like rather then they should do. I strongly disagree wit...
^^^^
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hat they like rather than they should do , then every systems in community should ...
^^
Line 7, column 190, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had spent'?
Suggestion: had spent
...e required tasks. Additionally, if they would have spent too much time for nothing rather than t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, look, second, so, then, thus, for example, for instance, such as, first of all, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.0752688172 223% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2130.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 447.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76510067114 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54800451509 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.454138702461 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 649.8 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.86738351254 536% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3797742174 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.428571429 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2857142857 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.90476190476 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.504056595372 0.236089414692 214% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.171892302457 0.076458572812 225% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.180880525529 0.0737576698707 245% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.358357543043 0.150856017488 238% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0676389417627 0.0645574589148 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.