If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

For many reasons my hometown have many problems that effect people lives and I will try to shad the light on some this issues.

Initially, there are many things that I wish if I can change it in back town. However my country consider one of the worst countries around the world in different aspects like political systems and corruption. Also, some kind of traditional that inherited by our ancestors. I am going to starts with the political system in my country, however it is the first reason for each issue in my country, more than 40% of the people under the poverty line and that though to the failed of mastering the sources. Also, political system never give any solution to eliminate corruption and most the politicians are involve on it, however, most of them have a big properties and wealth and nobody can count on them, political system have destroyed my country even the new generation by neglect education and ignoring educate people.

Moreover, in the part of the equality political system does not enhance the gander equality and women wrights, however men on my country have the wrights to control women in every part on their live. Also, our political system doesn't enhance the equality of sharing wealth fairly, for instance one city consume the most of the wealth for divers reasons. Furthermore, in many part of sharing power the army only exist from 3 cities as a kind of monopoly, however more than 15 city live in suffer and deprived of basic services.

In the third hand, traditional and customs play a significant role in people live. By way of illustration, tribes control the people live by name of customs that they inherited from their ancestors and this customs are not compatible with our lives today and many of this tribes try to make this kind of culture as part of their religion.

In my conclusion, there are many thing I would like to change in hometown to improve and develop our lives.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 79, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...I wish if I can change it in back town. However my country consider one of the worst c...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 110, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ck town. However my country consider one of the worst countries around the world ...
^^
Line 3, column 606, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'involved'.
Suggestion: involved
...corruption and most the politicians are involve on it, however, most of them have a big...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 228, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... their live. Also, our political system doesnt enhance the equality of sharing wealth ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 371, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun part seems to be countable; consider using: 'many parts'.
Suggestion: many parts
...lth for divers reasons. Furthermore, in many part of sharing power the army only exist fr...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 203, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...they inherited from their ancestors and this customs are not compatible with our liv...
^^^^
Line 7, column 268, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...atible with our lives today and many of this tribes try to make this kind of culture...
^^^^
Line 10, column 29, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: 'many things'.
Suggestion: many things
...igion. In my conclusion, there are many thing I would like to change in hometown to i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 34, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'things'?
Suggestion: things
.... In my conclusion, there are many thing I would like to change in hometown to i...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, third, for instance, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1605.0 1977.66487455 81% => OK
No of words: 337.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.76261127596 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46658764847 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498516320475 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 514.8 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 74.6995370356 48.9658058833 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.75 100.406767564 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0833333333 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.75 5.45110844103 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0592869656144 0.236089414692 25% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0330440123698 0.076458572812 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0522384287028 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.053636483488 0.150856017488 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0601714382635 0.0645574589148 93% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.