Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why?
- An organization that provides food and housing to people in need
- An organization that gives people money to start their own small business
- An organization that provides medical care to people in need
Today’s world, in which we are living, is afflicted with economic problems so much so that few people can live a comfortable life without any concern about their financial condition. Considering the number of people who are in need, charities and benevolent people who want to help these people should allocate their budget wisely and in a way that maximize intended outcome. In this regard, were I to choose among these three given option to allot money, I would definitely choose to give money to people in order to found their own business. There are several clear reason for this assertion, two of which are more significant that are elaborated upon in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, from economic point of view, two other options are considered as cost, while starting a business is considered as an investment, meaning that the money could produce more money if it is used in a business, like a factory. Moreover, giving money as charity to people, sometimes ruin their self-steam, which would result in their lack of confidence in the society, a common root for depression. Considering these, it stands to reason that in order to help the poor, one should give them the opportunity to build their life by working for themselves rather than providing them with food to eat or medicine to use.
Second, if the money from received from philanthropic people is used to build a business such as a factory, it would provide jobs for other in-need-families, thereby providing them with permanent flow of money, since any business require several employee. In this regard there is a famous Persian proverb which equivalent of which in English may sounds like this: if you want to help someone, teach him who to fish rather than giving him a fish; which is a testament for the aforementioned claim.
To sum up, by taking into account all the above mentioned reasons, I believe that in order to help the poor, we should pave the way for them to have their own job. By so doing, not only can they afford their family expenses, but also it would help to save their otherwise ruined confidence.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 239, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun employee seems to be countable; consider using: 'several employees'.
Suggestion: several employees
...ow of money, since any business require several employee. In this regard there is a famous Persi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, moreover, second, so, while, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1745.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 362.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82044198895 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63648382824 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.541436464088 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 551.7 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.6003584229 53% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 40.5279211988 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 158.636363636 100.406767564 158% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.9090909091 20.6045352989 160% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.45454545455 5.45110844103 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.251684150354 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0906176199868 0.076458572812 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0462846709244 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143888877245 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0587628789948 0.0645574589148 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 11.7677419355 150% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 58.1214874552 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.27 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.