People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment - doing things they like to do - rather than doing things they should do."
In today’s world pervaded by television shows and their notable celebrities, people watching those programmes have proclivity to be influenced by their extravagant lives. According to the following reason and my personal experiences, I firmly believe that people spend too much time on personal amusement rather doing things they are supposed to do.I feel this way for some reasons which I am going to explore in the following essay.
First of all, in this dazzling world, people are easily enticed by myriad of temptations which put them in indulgence and make them forget about their responsibilities. Let me cite an example which will bolster my aforementioned statement. A few months ago, one of my friends decided to spend his savings on purchasing a laptop for his brother who was pursuing computer science course. But suddenly he changed his mind when he saw a post on social media by his cousin brother who visited Paris recently and so he squandered all his savings on a luxurious vacation which was really doleful. If he bought that laptop for his brother, he could have performed well in his practical paper.
Furthermore as people having ultra fast life style post their photographs with delicate food and beauty spot they went, people having fixed salary try to flaunt off that similar lifestyle which make them unhappy and less satisfied and sometimes it make them run by precarious whims. Let me give a vivid example which can shed a light on this matter. My friend Joshua had a low paid job but he always tries to emulate his cousin’s life style who is a product manager in a multi-national company. To maintain this life style he fritters away money on luxurious things and drains out his salaries within half of a month and go to parents for money. In my opinion, he should work hard to get a promotion instead of showing off because this will make him happy and more satisfied.
By the way of conclusion, although experts put emphasis on that people should not do excessive work but the actual truth is that they do have too much personal entertainment and for which people evade the things they are supposed to do.
- People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment - doing things they like to do - rather than doing things they should do." 76
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- 51)What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...er doing things they are supposed to do.I feel this way for some reasons which I ...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing to explore in the following essay. First of all, in this dazzling world, pe...
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Line 2, column 518, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...her who visited Paris recently and so he squandered all his savings on a luxuriou...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rformed well in his practical paper. Furthermore as people having ultra fast ...
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Line 4, column 12, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...l in his practical paper. Furthermore as people having ultra fast life style ...
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Line 4, column 260, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...ppy and less satisfied and sometimes it make them run by precarious whims. Let me gi...
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Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l make him happy and more satisfied. By the way of conclusion, although exper...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, really, so, well, i feel, by the way, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1786.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85326086957 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69770587092 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.589673913043 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 549.0 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.5131767766 48.9658058833 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.384615385 100.406767564 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.3076923077 20.6045352989 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.23076923077 5.45110844103 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.23408330049 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0806057269165 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.153054858585 0.0737576698707 208% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.219446782613 0.150856017488 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.197476600513 0.0645574589148 306% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.